Ed, Edd, Bella n Eddy Specials
by KittyKatBella
Summary: Parodies of all the holiday specials of Ed, Edd n Eddy with Bella and Brandon included. I own nothing but my OCs. Ed, Edd n Eddy belongs to Danny Antonucci.
1. Hanky Panky Hullaballo

_The school bus drives up to school. Inside the school building, we see a chalkboard with drawings of Ed, Edd, Bella, and Eddy with their names above them. Next to them says the word 'in' then pans to the next chalkboard which reads 'Hanky Panky Hullaballo' inside a red heart. Then we pan to the hallway, where a heart decoration says 'Written By KittyKatBella.' Then pans to the announcement board, which has one paper saying, 'Based Off Of Danny Antonucci's Ed, Edd n Eddy.' Another says, 'Note: Bella and Eddy aren't dating yet.' Lastly, the screen pans to the office door, which says 'Please Enjoy! -KittyKatBella'_

* * *

The Kankers are sitting outside the office and Lee is shooting spitballs at the door. Sitting next to her, Marie is filing her nails, Brandon was chewing gum, and on the floor, May was coloring, crayons and paper strewn over the floor. Marie notices May and elbows Lee in the face.

"Hey Lee, Brandon, check out Miss Vincent Van Stinko," Marie said.

"What's this?" Lee asked, snatching the card from May, "Aw, it's a Valentine card." Marie and Brandon peered over their older sister's shoulder to see.

"It's for my boyfriend!" May snapped, pouncing on Lee. Lee dropped the card and Marie picked it up.

"It's for big Ed, guys," Marie said, showing them.

"Give it back!" May cried, jumping on Marie's head and grabbing the card, "Ed's the bestest boyfriend _ever!_ " She crossed her arms and walked off angrily to deliver her card.

"Now I know who got mom's genes," Marie said to Lee, standing up. Lee closed her locker.

"Hormones," Lee chuckled.

May turned the corner to look for Ed, not knowing she was being followed by two little Cupids.

"When nature stirs on Valentine's day, and greets the children with her splendor-" Cupid Jimmy began.

"Suddenly their minds will stray to thoughts of love and words so tender," Cupid Sarah finished. The two giggled and flew off, just as Eddy came bolting down the hall and turned the corner.

"Let's learn!" He cried strangely, "First one to class is a-" He stopped and realized what he was saying, "What am I saying?" Bored, he continued walking.

"I have no clue," Bella said as she, Ed, and Edd followed.

"Isn't Valentine's Day wonderful?" Edd asked.

"It's my favorite holiday!" Bella giggled, spinning around happily, "Pink and red! Pink and red and love everywhere!" Ed ran past where his friends had turned the corner and ran back.

"As I'm sure you're aware, it can be quite unnerving to express one's come hither feelings of amore," Edd continued, "Yet this holiday conquers the upchuck of apprehension and allows one that opportunity to let that special someone know you care." He glanced at his twirling step-sister, who suddenly stopped and glanced at Eddy.

"Uh, yeah…" She said quietly.

Ed grabbed Edd, panicked.

"Yucky, squishy, MUCKY GIRLS, DOUBLE D!" Ed cried fearfully. He whispered in Edd's ear, "The fish have chips, my fine friend."

"'The fish have chips'?" Bella asked, "What does that even mean?"

Ed ignored her as he dropped Edd and ran to his locker. He opened it and a TON of junk fell out. Eddy laughed loudly.

"Your locker stinks like-" Eddy was cut off when Ed finished for him.

"An onion," Ed said, taking a big bite, "Girls do not like stinky breath." His friends looked disgusted, "Camouflage," Ed put on a paper bag with a face, "So girls cannot see you. And-" Ed pulled out a box, "A spider. Girls hate them. Sarah said so."

"GAH!" Bella jumped and backed away, "I don't know about all girls, but I can't tell the _velenose_ ones from the _non-velenose,_ and better safe than sorry." The spider climbed up Ed's arm and he noticed. His eyes widened in fear and he jumped.

"SPIDER!" Ed cried, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Eddy laughed as Ed ran to the nearest water fountain and splashed the spider with water.

"Oh for goodness sake," Edd said, coaxing the spider onto his hand, "You're frightening the poor thing." He carried it to the open window and let it go, "All better."

"Ah, you babies got it light," Eddy said, "Yup, Valentine's Day is just the same old grind for this chick magnet." Belle giggled.

Eddy opened his locker and out popped a 'Kiss The Hunk' stand with a disco ball and music. Edd looked down at Bella, who had little hearts in her eyes, but Edd was the only one to noticed.

"25 cents a smooch, ladies!" Eddy yelled, "Line forms to my left!"

Bella was searching her pockets for a quarter, but couldn't find anything. Eddy rang the bell and waited. When no one appeared, Edd looked around and Eddy stops smiling.

"They must be freshening up in the can," Eddy said. The music and disco ball stopped.

"'In the can'," Edd said sarcastically, "Right-o." He pulled some cards out of his bag, "While we're waiting, I've got a little something here for you." He handed a card to both Ed and Bella, "Happy Valentine's Day, Ed and Bella."

"Nap time already?" Ed asked, putting his face right in the card.

"Aw, _grazie, Doppio_ D," Bella smiled.

"Eddy," Edd said, handing Eddy a card.

"'You Electrify Me'?" Eddy read aloud, "Who the heck's this guy?"

"Nicola Tesla," Edd said, "It's part of my 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's cards series."

"It has a mind, Eddy!" Ed said.

"Oh, and while we're on _San Valentino_ gifts," Bella pulled a container out of her bag, "Me and my _papa_ make frosted sugar cookies!"

"Yummy!" Ed said, taking one.

"Ain't you supposed to give these things to girls?" Eddy asked, talk about the card. Just then, the the bell on the counter rang, "A customer." They all turned to see May Kanker and screamed.

"Happy Valentine's, Ed!" May said. Ed pulled down his mask, which now had an eyeball and a mouth with a tongue sticking out, but Eddy grabbed it and put it on and Ed grabbed it back. Eddy hid under the counter.

"You're the handsomest sweetest biggest hunk of man in the land!" May said, leaning against Ed. She held out the card, "Will you be mine?"

"Aw…" Bella said quietly, smiling, "That's so swe-" Before she could finish, Ed panicked.

"AHH!" He yelled, running away, "YUCKY MUSHY GIRLS! WOE! HURT !PAIN! RUN! PAIN!"

When he ran back the other way, he ran right over May and trampled her. Eddy started laughing when the bell rang yet again.

"A customer!" Without looking he goes to kiss but opens his eyes to see Kevin, "In your dreams, pal!" Kevin slammed his fist on the counter.

"Get this hunk of junk out of the hallway and get to class!" Kevin ordered.

"Don't let your brains go to your head, Mr. Hall Monitor," Eddy snapped.

"Oh," Kevin said, picking up a pencil and clipboard, "You just got yourself a detention, _pal._ " He tore off a piece of paper and handed it to Eddy. Grumbling, Eddy pushed the booth back in his locker.

"Oh hey Kevin, before you go," Bella said, "I made cookies for everyone!"

"Sweet, thanks," Kevin said, taking one.

"Come now, Kevin," Edd said, "Why taint the emotional sincerity of Valentine's Day with a detention slip?"

Kevin slapped a piece of paper in Edd's hand.

"That's for stickin' up for Dorky!" Kevin said, finishing the cookie and walking off.

"But I've never had a detention!" Edd cried. Eddy walked by and Kevin kicked him.

"Move it, slouch!" Kevin ordered. Eddy ran off and Kevin followed, laughing. Bella quickly followed, so Edd was the only one left in the hallway. He heard sobbing coming from the janitor's closet. He opened the door.

"May?" He said.

"Big Ed hates me!" May sobbed loudly. Just then, the bell rang and Edd looked worried.

"I'm sure it's nothing like that," Edd tried to comfort her, "Ed's just being shy." He looked at the clock, "Don't you think we should be getting to class?"

"I got no Valentine for Valentine's Day!" May cried. Edd quickly took out a pen and wrote something on a card before handing it to May.

"I-I really must get to class," He said, "Happy Valentine's Day, May."

May looked at the card, which had Nazz's name crossed out and replaced with May's.

"'Naturally I Select You'?" May read, standing up and watching Edd round the corner, repeating, "Late late late late late."

"Double D?" May said before a heart arrow hit her in the butt. She jumped and twirled her whole body around, hearts in her eyes as she sighed happily and floated after Edd. The two Cupids were seen again.

"And so the spring of love is seeded deep within the Kanker girl," Cupid Sarah said.

"Still another half is needed for this blossom to unfurl," Cupid Jimmy said. Giggling, they flew off right past Rolf, who was drinking from a water fountain. He stood back up, suddenly aware.

"Rolf smells the inky scent of mountain sprites come to make mischief among us," Rolf said to himself.

* * *

In science, Lee and Marie were looking at anatomy textbook and giggling while Brandon sat next to them, bored.

"Hubba hubba!" Lee laughed.

"Ooh la la!" Marie giggled. Lee turned the page. At another table, Edd was working and Bella sat next to him, slightly frightened by the chemicals. Ed walked by with the class skeleton draped over him.

"Boy am I parched!" Ed said. Eddy was following him.

"Man, are you gonna get in trouble!" Eddy laughed.

"Some of us are here to _learn,_ thank you," Edd said, referring to him and Bella, but she was no longer paying attention as she looked at Eddy, hearts in her eyes. May floated up beside Edd, her pupils pink and little hearts bubbling around her head.

"Hiya, Double D!" She said happily. Edd looked up from his textbook and smiled at May.

"Ah, feeling better May?" Edd asked. Edd noticed that May was floating above the ground, "Well, nice talking to you, oh would you look at this, work work work. This assignment is worth 40 percent of our term." May, however, couldn't care less as she whispered in Edd's ear.

"Can I be your partner?" May asked. Edd started to sweat nervously. Suddenly, a HUGE explosion came from Ed and Eddy's table, knocking Edd over.

"Pink belly!" Ed said. His and Eddy's shirts were blown half off and they were both covered in ash.

"Oh, way to go, numbskull!" Eddy said sarcastically, "You ruined my shirt!"

"Stupid!" May yelled, causing Ed and Eddy to look at her, "Don't you know never to mix beric oxide with an aqueous suspention?!"

Bella and the Eds stared at her in shock.

"May, I've never seen that side of you," Edd said.

"I've developed a mean bathroom deodorizer, too," May said. Edd backed away.

"Well, perhaps that's a conversation best had in a very busy public area, yes?" Edd said as a heart arrow hit him in the butt. He did the same thing May had done earlier and stared dreamily at May.

"Now that Double D's been smitten by the course of Cupid's will," Cupid Jimmy said, picking Edd up by the back of his shirt.

"Ever shall a note be written, the plot gets thicker still!" Cupid Sarah finished, picking up May and a pencil and paper. Giggling, they carried the two kids in opposite directions.

Cupid Sarah carried May past a hall of lockers where Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf were. Rolf's hair stood on end.

"Again?!" He yelled as Kevin pulled on a sweater, "These mountain imps taunt Rolf no more!"

"You're whack, dude," Kevin said, laughing.

* * *

Cupid Jimmy carried Edd to his locker, where May had left him a note. He read it aloud to himself.

"To my sweet lambchop, won't you be my Valentine? Love, May," He read. Ed, Eddy, and Bella, who were each at their own lockers, looked over at Edd. Eddy laughed loudly, grabbing Ed's face.

"May's so stupid!" Eddy said, "She put _your_ Valentine in _Double D's_ locker!" Eddy grabbed the card and showed Ed.

"YUCK! MUSHY!" Ed cried, acting like an ostrich and burying his head in the floor, popping out in the boiler room below them. Eddy took two books and acted like May, using the books as her teeth.

"Oh Ed, it's me, May Kanker," Eddy mocked, "Won't you be my Valentine?"

"That's not funny, Eddy," Ed said, unamused.

"Ah, what are you scared of?" Eddy asked, standing on Ed and spitting the books out, "Girls don't bite, stupid." Eddy shot the balled-up card into the trash, "They'll just slowly nag you to death." Bella laughed.

"It's actually pretty true," She said, "But I don't do it too much. I just need a peanut butter sandwich and one of my stuffed animals and I'm happy."

The bell rang and Ed pulled his head out of the ground and ran off to class. Eddy and Bella followed, but Edd was digging in the trash can, looking for the card. His friends noticed and walked back.

"Look at him!" Eddy said, "Not only is he the teacher's pet, now he's kissing up to the janitor! Hey! We're gonna be late for class, Double D!" After a minute, he smacked Ed's head and pointed at Edd, "Ed, fetch!" Ed did so and grabbed Edd, but not before Edd could find the card. They ran to gym, where Edd's upper body got stuck in the doors. He sighed happily.

"Turtledove, to whence we meet again," He said, putting the card under his hat just as he slipped through the doors. Kevin was looking at a clipboard as Rolf walked around, looking for the Cupids.

"Gym assistant, sir!" Jonny said to Kevin, who looked down at him, "Watch me!" He started doing push ups and turned to Plank beside him, "Look sharp, Plank! He's marking us."

"What, you again?" Eddy asked, walking over.

"The things I do for extra credit," Kevin said, looking at the clipboard. Brandon walked over.

"Here! Present! Chip! On head! Yo! Ready when you are!" Ed said, running over and dropping Edd, who just floated to the ground, "Can I be excused?"

"No," Kevin said, "Today you're gonna be climbing rope."

"Right on!" Jonny said, standing up and quickly climbing the rope. He rang the bell at the top just as the girls came out to the other side of the gym.

"Alright, girls, let's sweat!" Nazz encouraged, being followed by the Kanker sisters and Bella, "Today's class is gonna be, like, so much fun!"

"Sounds like a dare, huh, May?" Lee asked. Hearing, Edd turned around and stared, lovestruck, at May, who floated over and leaned against the netting pole. Lee and Marie were 'sword' fighting with the rackets.

"Ok, that's not cool!" Nazz said. Bella looked over at Eddy and sighed. May held up her racket and chewed it into the shape of a heart, showing Edd. He started blowing her kisses, causing Eddy to stare at him.

"Hey, no-neck!" Kevin said to Eddy. Eddy turned around angrily as Kevin threw the rope in his face, "Your go." Eddy growled.

"I ain't climbin' no stupid rope!" Eddy said, throwing the rope back.

"Oh, you're climbin' it, or I'm telling the teacher," Kevin threatened, throwing the rope back again. This time, Eddy began to climb, grumbling angrily. He started climbing and reached the top, but when he went to ring the bell, he fell down, still holding onto the rope.

"My turn!" Ed said.

"ROPE BURN!" Eddy cried, looking at his hands. Bella winced from the other side of the gym.

"Double Dweeb!" Kevin yelled at the still-lovestruck Edd. Ed pulled on Edd's hat.

"Wakey-wakey!" Ed said loudly.

"You're up," Kevin said. Edd skipped over, did a circle around a confused Kevin, and pulled out a machine. Attaching it to both the rope and his waist, Edd 'climbed' up the rope, ringing the bell once.

"Cheater," Brandon grumbled. May, who was now on top of the net, sighed dreamily.

"I want to wear his beanie," She said. Her sisters looked at her. Lee's racket was busted.

"What the heck's she talkin' about?" Lee asked.

"Look at her face," Marie said, "She's probably constipated again." Nazz blew her whistle, startling Lee, Marie, and Bella.

"A little less talk and a little more badminton please," Nazz said, tossing them a badminton birdie, which Marie hit back hard, hitting Nazz in the face. Lee and Marie started laughing.

"So who's next?" Kevin asked the boys.

"It's Plank's turn!" Jonny said, pointing at his friend in his hand.

"Zip it, cactus-head!" Kevin ordered.

"Look at me!" Ed said from the basketball hoop. He was holding the rope, "I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree!" Pulling down his mask again, which now showed a guy picking his nose, he swung down, "Meow."

"Go lumpy go!" Eddy cheered as Ed smacked into the other basketball hoop, making his mask fall off, "He shoots-" Eddy set Edd in front of where Ed was about to swing. Ed picked up Edd and dropped him in the first hoop, "He scores!" Edd fell through the hoop, landing on his head on the hard floor.

"Lambchop!" May cried, concerned. Ed landed on Kevin, who handed him a slip of paper.

"You just got yourself a detention," Kevin said. Ed smiled stupidly. The bell rung and the kids went into the changing rooms to change back into their normal clothes. Ed ran into the boy's room, followed by Eddy and then Jonny.

"How do I know what they're laughing about, Plank?" Jonny asked. Out in the gym, the only ones left were Kevin, Nazz, May and Edd. May was holding Edd.

"Speak to me, lambchop!" May said, "Are you hurt?" Edd opened his eyes and smiled.

"Your gaze alone could heal any wound," He said.

"You're so adorable!" May said, "I could just eat you up!"

"Bon appetit, turtledove," Edd said, "For I am basted and ready to serve."

"Dude, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Nazz said to Kevin. They were on the other side of the gym. Kevin looked to see May carrying Edd.

"Man, that's sick," He said. Lee was outside the girl's changing room and saw the whole thing. The Cupids flew up.

"Now the dance of love had started, and the secret is about to unfurl," Cupid Jimmy said.

"Never shall the pair be parted by another boy or girl," Cupid Sarah said. The two flew off, gigging again.

"Yo Marie!" Lee called her sister, "Looks like that man of yours is flirting with your sister." Lee pointed at Edd and May, who were cuddling on the mat. Bella popped her head out and stared in shock.

* * *

The kids were in art class, and Marie was painting a picture if her shoving May off a cliff, who was yelling 'NOOOOOOO!' At a table, Lee was decorating a license plate with macaroni while May and Bella were both making cards, but about different boys, of course. Lee looked at May's card, which had 'Edd+May' all over it. Lee then glanced at Bella's card across the table, which had different ways to say 'Eddy+Bella' all over it, and even one heart that had 'My Little Devil' written in it.

"That's not surprising," Lee said quietly to herself.

Meanwhile, at the table across the room, Edd was staring at May while Ed carved out a wooden dollar for Eddy.

"Come on, Ed, come on," Eddy said, "Before the teachers see ya!" Ed threw away the screwdriver he was using to carve.

"All done, Eddy!" Ed said quietly, holding up the 'dollar' which had Eddy's face on it, "You owe me a buck."

"No problem, da Vinci!" Eddy said, grabbing the dollar, "Give me a second, I'll go print you one!" He ran off to the printing press behind the chalkboard, "Come on, stupid!" Ed pulled out two cardboard cutouts of him and Eddy before running over, laughing.

"We'll print up a hundred bucks even before class is done!" Eddy said, trying to figure out where to put the dollar.

"Here's the ink, Eddy!" Ed yelled loudly, pouring a TON of ink on top.

"How's this thing work?" Eddy asked. He looked over at Edd, "Psst! Double D!" Edd sighed happily, not hearing Eddy.

"Heads up, Eddy!" Ed said as a glob of ink hit Eddy in the face.

"Ed!" Eddy yelled angrily, diving back behind the chalkboard. Jonny tapped Edd on the head three times. He had something purple on his head and was holding a card.

"I'm a little squirrel, and this nut's for you," Jonny said, handing Edd the card. Inside was a candy heart saying 'Be Mine' and under the heart it said 'I Luv U!' written by May.

"A sweet, from my sweet," Edd said, taking the candy, "'Be mine.'"

Jonny scurried back over to May with another card in his mouth and set it on the table. When she read it, her eyes bulged. She sent Jonny back over and this process was repeated several times before Marie snapped her paint brush in half and pounced on Jonny, pinning him down.

"Let me see that!" She ordered. Jonny took the card out of his mouth.

"No, I can't!" He said, "It's against squirrel policy!"

"Yeah Maire, you have to respect the squirrel," Brandon joked.

"Gimmie it!" Marie snapped, grabbing for the card.

"Nuts to you!" Jonny said, eating the card.

"You're such a weirdo!" Marie said.

"Being weird is a good thing!" Bella said from her table.

"Ed, what are you doing?!" Eddy yelled from behind the chalkboard as ink spilled everywhere, making the others look over. Behind the chalkboard, Eddy was covered in ink, while Ed was going through the press.

"Splish splash, I'm taking a bath, Eddy!" Ed said happily.

"Double D, do something!" Eddy begged, leaning over the top of the board, "Stop this crazy thing!" Suddenly, ink burst through the chalkboard, covering the whole room and everyone in it in ink with a giant ink wave. Edd rode the wave of his stomach towards May with his hands out stretched.

"Lambchop," May said, also holding her hands out.

"Turtledove," Edd said as their hands met. They stayed on top of the wave as everyone else was covered in ink.

"Lambchop?" Eddy said, confused.

"Turtledove?" Lee said after she, Marie, Brandon, and Bella and surfaced. Edd and May were the only clean ones, with only their pants being covered in ink.

"I've got some stain remover we can share," Edd said as he and May exited the room, holding hands, "Care to partake?"

"You cad!" May giggled. Ed and Eddy looked at Lee and Marie. Eddy looked thoughtful for a second.

"You have three seconds to explain why I'm covered in ink!" Brandon yelled angrily.

* * *

After class, Ed, Eddy, and Bella were now clean, but Eddy did have a black eye from Brandon. Eddy had a stethoscope and was trying to open Edd's locker. After doing so, he opened it.

"Bingo!" Eddy said.

"Are you sure we should be doing this, Eddy?" Bella asked.

"How else are we gonna find out what's going on?" Eddy said, looking through Edd's books and throwing each one at Ed's face, " _Opposite Attraction In You_? _Relishing The Repugnant_?"

"Yum, relish!" Ed said.

" _Diametric Doting Done Easy_?" Eddy continued, "I don't get it!" Ed looked on his head and saw something.

"Look Eddy, a prize," Ed said, pointing. Eddy took the thing and looked at it.

"It's May's barrette!" Eddy realized, "Double D's been poisoned with Kanker love, lumpy!"

"Yucky evil mushy, Eddy!" Ed said, pulling on his mask, which is now a guy fishing on a boat.

"And I got a test after lunch," Eddy said, "How am I supposed to steal his answers if he's all May happy?" Eddy slammed Edd's locker shut.

* * *

Lee forced May's locker open.

"Get over it, Marie," Lee said, "That Double D was always a wolf in sheep's clothing."

"Yeah, he was too nerdy for you," Brandon said, "You could do better." Marie ignored her brother and sister as they searched through May's locker.

"I could tell there was something going on," Marie said, "He's probably with her right now!" She saw something and pulled it out, "What's this?" She opened the heart shaped box and Lee pulled out a sock. Marie dropped the box.

"That's Double D's sock!" Marie cried, "That creep!"

"Flirtin's one thing, but handing out your unmentionables is going too far!" Lee said. She, Marie, and Brandon stormed off.

* * *

In the lunchroom, Jonny was looking at the food.

"Look Plank, jelly hearts for Valentine's Day," Jonny said, poking the food, "Holy cow, relax buddy. Of course I washed my hands." Jonny sat down with Plank, "Where do you think they've been?" At another table, Rolf sat across from Nazz and Kevin.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Rolf," Nazz said as Rolf dropped his lunch on the table.

"Poppycock!" Rolf said. Something in his sandwich started moving, so he smacked it with a hammer.

"Uh, so hey, Nazz," Kevin said, "I, uh, like…" Kevin handed her a card, "Y'know, happy Valentine's Day?" Nazz smiled and took the card.

"Awesome, thanks Kev," Nazz grinned. She handed him a card, "I got you a card, too."

"Sweet," Kevin said.

"Rad."

"Slick."

"Super cool."

"Choice-a-riffic."

"ARE YOU ALSO LOST TO THESE GRETCHENS OF AFFECTION?!" Rolf shouted angrily. He lowered his voice, "Ed-boy and the Kanker girl have been smitten! Beware, lest you be next. Take these-" He held out two lemons and gave one each to Nazz and Kevin, "The Lemons of Acceptitude. Soil its nectar into your eyes in order to see what cannot be seen." He stood up and walked off.

"Right," Kevin said as he and Nazz dropped the lemons. Suddenly, Eddy entered the lunchroom, looking for the Kankers. Following him were Ed and Bella. Lee, Marie, and Brandon came in the other side of the lunchroom. The two groups walked up to each other.

"Well well well," Eddy said, "If it isn't the brother and sisters of the friend stealer." Ed pulled on another mask with a duck on it.

"Where's our May?" Marie asked, getting in Eddy's face.

"WHERE'S OUR DOUBLE D?!" Eddy yelled in her face, causing her to fall backwards. Marie stood up and grabbed Eddy's arms.

"You got three seconds to tell us where she's at," Marie said, shaking Eddy, "One...two…" Marie was getting ready to punch Eddy, but he distracted her.

"Hey, is that an abandoned car axle?" He said, pointing behind her.

"Where?" Marie asked, looking. Eddy hit her with a sandwich, knocking her over.

"Nice shot," Lee said.

"Tell your stupid sister to stay away from our friend," Eddy said. Lee grabbed two hotdogs.

"Tell your stupid friend to stay away from our sister!" Lee yelled, throwing the hotdogs at Eddy.

"Oh look, guys, weiner eyes," Marie laughed. Lee and Brandon also laughed. Ed held up his toe.

"Stand back, matrons of make-out!" Ed said. Lee and Marie looked disgusted. Ed turned to Eddy and whispered, "Girls hate toenails, Eddy."

"Either that, for your foot stinks like rotten meat," Bella said, holding her nose. An orange hit Ed in the back of his head. The Kankers were hiding behind a table and throwing food.

"Food fight!" Jonny said happily. Ed grabbed a table for him, Eddy, and Bella to hide behind.

"Get 'em, guys!" Eddy told Ed and Bella.

"I-I'd rather stay out of this," Bella said, shaking.

"Uh oh," Eddy said, ducking behind the table again as a huge roll of cheese came and hit Ed in the face. Rolf, trying to escape the chaos, dove into a trash can and flipped it upside down on himself.

"Every man for himself!" Ed shouted as he and Eddy pushed their table against the Kanker's table. Lee's hand burst through both tables and she grabbed Eddy by the neck, pulling him back through. Marie grabbed Ed's neck and tried to lift him up, but he was too heavy. He slammed Marie on the ground in front of him. Brandon jumped over the table and kicked Ed. Lee pinned Eddy down but he bit her leg. Just then, the door opened and no one noticed until someone spoke.

"Greetings, everyone," Edd said. Everyone stared at him and May, "Our Valentine's has come true." The two floated into the shape of a heart, "Has yours?"

"Awww…" Bella smiled slightly. Suddenly, two pairs of hands tore the two away from each other.

"Get a grip, Romeo!" Eddy snapped, holding Edd by his neck, "That's a Kanker you're falling for!"

"Forget the bum, May," Lee said, holding on to her squirming sister.

"Lambchop!" May cried.

"Turtledove!" Edd choked out.

"Lambchop!" May yelled, kicking Lee in the face and running towards Edd, but Marie jumped on her before she could reach him.

"He's trouble with a capital R, May," Marie said.

"Yeah," Brandon agreed, "He's no good for you either."

"Turtledove!" Edd said, dragging Eddy with him as he slowly ran to May.

"NO DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted, jumping on Edd. The two cupids watched from above.

"How could this have happened?" Cupid Jimmy asked, "Chaos rains instead of love."

"We will stop this chain of madness! Fire at will from above!" Cupid Sarah ordered. The two readied multiple arrows and shot randomly. Rolf heard the arrows clatter from inside his trash can. When it stopped, he peeked out from underneath.

"Happy Valentine's, dreamboat," Lee was saying to Kevin.

"You're so righteous, babe," Kevin said.

"For you, foxy mama," Jonny said, holding out a bunch of flowers for Nazz.

"What a hunk!" She cried happily.

"May I have this dance?" Ed asked a sandwich.

"Where have you been all my life?" Eddy was asking.

"Right here," Bella answered, smiling.

Brandon was hugging Plank on the other side of the room.

"Fools!" Rolf said, throwing the trash can off. He pulled out two lemons from his pockets and squirted them in his eyes, making his eyes become puffy and granting him the ability to see the two Cupids.

"Peek-a-boo, Rolf sees you," Rolf said. The Cupids, however, didn't hear him as they giggled happily. Rolf went to the janitor's office and grabbed the bucket of dirty water and the mop. He came back with the bucket on his head and the mop in his teeth. He lifted the doors up and dropped the bucket on the ground, not spilling a drop. Facing the Cupids, he spun the mop around.

"Be gone, cursed underlings of Valhalla!" Rolf yelled, making the crushed doors fall back down.

"Oops, we missed one, Cupid Sarah," Cupid Jimmy said as he and Cupid Sarah each readied an arrow.

"Rolf awaits your response!" Rolf cried, jumping up on the table. The two Cupids hammered him with arrows, but he blocked them all with the mop, "You tickle Rolf's radish. TAKE THIS!" He started swinging at the Cupids, "AND THIS!" Cupid Jimmy and Cupid Sarah flew up.

"Quick, up here!" Cupid Sarah said, "Far from his swings!"

"Safe and sound at last!" Cupid Jimmy said, wiping his forehead. Rolf threw the mop at them, "Ow, that stings!"

Rolf carried the two Cupids by their wings and dropped them out the window. Back inside, the scene hadn't changed much.

"Come here often, big boy?" Marie asked Rolf dreamily. He splashed her in the face with the water.

"What happened?" Marie asked, back to normal.

"Weaklings," Rolf insulted, "Rise and shine!" Rolf splashed Eddy and Bella.

"Who what where?" Eddy asked. He saw he was hugging Bella and let go, "Ah! Sorry."

"Uh, i-it's fine," Bella said, blushing slightly.

Jonny and Nazz, who were sharing spaghetti like Lady and The Tramp, were splashed next. Then Kevin and Lee while Kevin was 'rowing' a gondola, an Italian boat. Lee punched Kevin and looked at Rolf, who then splashed Brandon, making him throw Plank across the room in shock and hit Jonny's head.

"Keep your plank thing to yourself!" Brandon yelled. Ed was still kissing the sandwich.

"Me, you, and a dog named Boo," Ed said right before Rolf splashed him. Not sure what was going on, Ed shrugged and ate the sandwich.

Edd and May were about to kiss when Rolf walked over with the water.

"You make Rolf _sick_ ," Rolf said, dousing the couple in water. They saw they were holding hands and let go.

"May!" Edd said in surprise, "Oh, um, pardon me, but I think I belong over there." He stepped over by his friends. Ed was still eating the sandwich and Bella was still a little red, but Eddy looked at Edd. May walked over to her brother and sisters.

"The harsh realities of your miserable lives have been restored," Rolf said, dropping the bucket of water, "Thank you." The bell rang and everyone started to leave.

"Rolf's weird, huh Plank?" Jonny asked. Bella hesitated for a second then sighed.

"Eddy, wait!" She called, running over, "I need to tell you something."

* * *

At the end of the day, Edd was picking up trash all over the school. Ed helped while Eddy leaned against the lockers. Bella stood with him, smiling widely.

"I can not believe this," Edd said, "Me, a detention to mar an otherwise impeccable school record! What will Mother and Father think?"

"Quit your blubberin'," Eddy said, putting his arm around Ed, "Me and Ed get at least two a week!"

"That's why I exfoliate," Ed said.

"That's also why _your_ parents are probably used to it," Bella said.

"Besides, I'd be thinking about my reputation there, _Casanova,_ " Eddy said, making Edd turn red.

"Yeah," Ed agreed, "Double D and May sitting in a tree." Eddy joined in.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," They chanted, laughing.

"Oh, what a tangled web Valentine's Day does weave," Edd said.

"It's not that big a deal," Bella said, trying to comfort Edd.

"Suck it up, Double D," Eddy said, "Heck, Ed fell in love with a sandwich."

"I love food too," Bella said, "Besides, now today will be more than just Valentine's Day." She blushed and smiled shyly.

"Love is like an onion, Double D," Ed said, pulling out an onion, "The more you pull away its layers, the more it stinks." Ed took a big bite out of the onion.

"Man, I hate it when he does that," Eddy said.

"Watch me," Ed said, "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EDDY!" Edd pulled his hat over his nose and Bella covered hers, but Eddy was knocked unconscious by Ed's onion breath. Edd noticed the card May had made for him and read it again.

"Eddy?" Ed said. Edd smiled and stored the card back under his hat, "Oh Eddy? Speak to me, Eddy! It's only supposed to work on girls! Eddy!"

"Oh, that's nice," Bella said sarcastically.

"Do something, Double D!" Ed begged.

"Perhaps a little 'first aid', Ed?" Edd suggested.

"Oh, I got it," Ed said, "Mouth to mouth for Eddy!" Eddy opened his eyes but Ed didn't noticed as he forced Eddy's mouth open.

"Ed?" Eddy said, muffled.

"Inhale, Ed," Edd instructed and Ed did so, "And...blow."

"LUMPY GERMS! AGGHH!"


	2. Boo Haw Haw

A bright red leaf floats down through the air. The cool autumn breeze pushes it along, making it land on Edd's head. Edd, who was reading a book outside the school, noticed. Bella was sitting on the concrete table thing outside the door petting Felice. Edd picked up the leaf and set it in a pile with other leaves just like it. He had organized leaves in piles, spread out across the stairs. His watched beeped at 4:05 and he went back to reading his book. Suddenly, the front door slammed open, squishing Edd and causing Bella to fall backwards.

"Stupid teacher!" Eddy stomped out, "Can you believe the nerve of this guy?" Edd slid off the table thing and stood up with Bella, "Dishing out detentions on Halloween!" He ducked under a hole in the fence as Edd and Bella followed. Felice jumped over the fence.

"Reap what you sow, Eddy," Edd said, "You filled the teacher's desk with processed cheese. A strict violation of school code."

"Yeah, and it smelled disgusting," Bella said.

"Ed's the violation," Eddy said, "Come on! I got something that's gonna make this the best Halloween ever!"

"I hope so," Bella giggled, "It is my first here in Peach Creek."

The three ran off to Ed's house.

* * *

 _The screen shakes as the words 'Ed, Edd, Bella n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw' appear above the hill Edd, Eddy, and Bella just went over. The words melt into a bloody-gooey looking substance and flow down the hill. It turns the mailbox into a big pink skull which flies up to the screen with the words 'Written by KittyKatBella' in it's mouth. The nearby street lamp, which now has a giant eyeball instead of a light, bends over and shines light on the words on the ground. The words read 'Based On Danny Antonucci's Ed, Edd n Eddy.' The eyeball looks at the screens and the fire hydrant behind it, which grows legs and turns into a mutant crab monster. It turns around and it's revealed it has the words 'Please Enjoy! -KittyKatBella' on its back._

* * *

"Oh Lumpenstine!" Eddy called, sliding into Ed's room after opening the window. Bella climbed down and Edd looked in to see Ed staring at the TV screen.

"Hey Ed, you're never going to believe this!" Eddy said, but Ed was too focused on the TV screen to hear, "Look what I got!" Eddy pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket, "Hey!" Eddy got right in front of Ed, "See?" Eddy frowned when Ed still didn't respond. Edd looked around the wall for the light switch.

"Ed! Look!" Eddy said angrily, "Blink or something, will ya? You're scaring me! Ed!"

"Ed, are you ok?" Bella asked, worried. Edd found the light and turned it on. He was shocked by what he saw.

"Good Lord," He said, staring at the boxes of scary movies, "Look at all these video tapes!" Eddy was on the back of the chair, waving the paper in front of Ed's face. He then jumped back in front of Ed and waved the paper some more.

"What's with this guy?" Eddy asked.

"Sitting in front of a television for excessive periods of time can induce a trance-like state, and even rewire a susceptible brain," Edd said, shifting through the movies.

"Brain?" Eddy asked angrily, "WHAT BRAIN?!"

Edd unplugged the TV and Ed's eyes staticed before he blinked and shook his head.

"IT'S HALLOWEEN, GUYS!" Ed shouted happily, "The night when ghosts and goblins come out to play!" Bella giggled. Eddy once again showed Ed the folded paper.

"You just wait, lumpy!" Eddy said, "I got secret directions to the craziest monsteriest neighborhood in the land. It's called SPOOK-E-VILLE!" Eddy jumped on the table, "I got them from my brother. Folks give out buckets and buckets of candy! Am I the man, Ed?"

"You're the man, Eddy!" Ed said, laughing.

"Spook-E-Ville, Ed!" Eddy said.

"May I?" Edd asked, taking the paper and looking at it, "Thank you." He looked very closely, "Well, I see atrocious penmanship runs in the family. I highly doubt you'll find anything with this, Eddy, let alone a 'Spook-E-Villie.'" He lowered the map to see an annoyed Eddy and Ed, who was still laughing.

"What are you trying to do?" Eddy asked angrily, "Ruin my- um, Ed's Halloween?" Eddy put his arm around Ed's neck, who pouted sadly, "And Bella's first Halloween here?"

"Well, I suppose I could-" Edd began.

"SPOOK-E-VILLE, DOUBLE D!" Ed yelled happily, bringing Edd into a big hug, "Vampires and goblins and bats oh my! Vampires and goblins and bats oh my! Vampires and goblins and bats oh my!" Eddy laughed.

* * *

That night, the four met at Ed's house. Eddy jumped out of the window dressed as zombie Elvis.

"Woo-hoo!" Eddy cried, "C'mon, guys! It's trick or treating time!"

"Wait for us, zombie Elvis!" Ed said. He was dressed as a viking and Bella was dressed as Bellatrix LeStrange.

"Nice nut costume, lumpy," Eddy said.

"I am Lothar!" Ed yelled, "Viking! Protector of Montezuma!" His eyes fizzled and he shook his head, "Mice."

"Ain't this my spatula?" Eddy asked.

"Where's _Doppio_ D?" Bella asked.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Eddy asked.

"I am Bellatrix LeStrange!" Bella said, "The Dark Lord's most faithful Death Eater! I escaped Azkaban, something no other witch or wizard has been able to do since the escape of my goody-two-shoes cousin Sirius."

"Aren't I frightening?" Edd asked. The three friends looked over at Edd, who was dressed as...something, "Grr!"

"What the heck are _you_ supposed to be?" Eddy asked.

"Guess, Eddy," Edd said, walking over, "I am less than five micrometers tall, yet I pack a truly terrifying punch." No one said anything, "Don't get to close to me, or I may infect you!"

"A cold?" Bella guessed.

"Uh, no," Edd said, "In the Dark Ages, I caused millions of deaths." Still nothing, "The bubonic plague! I'm the bubonic plague!"

"Like on your teeth?" Ed asked, pointing at his teeth.

"NO!" Edd shouted, "NOT PLAQUE! PLAGUE! PLAGUE!"

"Too bad," Eddy said, "Spook-E-Ville, here we come!" The four kids ran off.

"I wish I was a real witch," Bella said, "Then I could just Apparate there."

They passed the Kankers laughing in the Lane, but Ed was the only one to notice. He looked over the fence and saw them sitting around a fire.

"So I tell him 'What size boot's your face wear?'" Lee was saying. Ed's eyes fizzled and he saw the Kankers as stereotypical witches, which was actually quite fitting.

 _The four evil witches were brewing something in a cauldron._

 _"The potion's ready," The orange haired one said, "Let's start the jinx." They all laughed._

 _"Monsters of the night," The brown haired one began, "Beasts from below."_

 _"Rise up and get our errant foes," The orange haired one continued._

 _"Make them scream!" The blue haired one said._

 _"Make them sweat!" The blond one said._

 _"Give them the Halloween they'll never forget!" The four of them said together. From the pot shot up a stream of the potion, making the sky foggy with greenish yellow clouds. Lothar watched in fear as smokey hands crawled towards him. He tried to run away, but they caught him. He escaped and ran off._

 _"RUN AWAY!"_

The Kankers were still sitting there. Marie looked around as Lee poured ketchup on a marshmallow.

"Did you hear something?" Marie asked. She, Lee, and Brandon looked at their younger sister.

"What?" May asked, her hand covered in marshmallow, "You guys know toasted marshmallows give me the toots!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Edd was looking at the Spook-E-Ville map through a magnifying glass.

"As best I can discern, the first clue to look for is a dented stop sign," Edd said.

"Scary!" Ed ran around the corner, drawing the attention of his friends, "Evil!" He crashed into Edd, Eddy, and Bella, knocking them into the air and then grabbing them.

"ED!" Eddy yelled, holding onto the map as Ed carried them to behind a shed. He threw them over the shed and they landed on the other side, where Ed popped up from underground.

"I saw four witches!" Ed said, "And they put a jinx on you!" He pointed at Eddy, "He!" He pointed at Edd, "She!" He pointed at Bella, "And I! To set monsters after us!"

"Monsters, you say?" Eddy asked, "But they'll eat us alive!" Eddy smirked and stood up, "We'll have our brains sucked out of our skulls!" He leaned over to Ed, "It's up to you to protect us, Ed! So me, the germ, and the good witch can find the clues to escape to Spook-E-Ville!" Bella frowned.

"Excuse me, but Bellatrix Lestrange is in no way, shape, or form a 'good' witch," Bella said, "I mean, you can easily tell by the name 'Death Eater' she's plainly evil!"

"Germ, indeed," Edd said, unamused. Ed stared for a minute.

"Right-o," Ed said, determined, "For I-" He jumped out of the hole in the ground, "Am Lothar! Slayer of the undead! And justice for all!"

"Thataboy, lowbrow!" Eddy said, "Now where were we?" Suddenly, Ed head bumped his friends, making them crash into the shed.

"Sssh!" Ed said, "Something wicked this way comes." Ed looked around. Jimmy was at a nearby house in a cute alien costume and carrying a flashlight.

"Trick or treat!" Jimmy said. After receiving his candy, he skipped back down the stairs to the sidewalk, "Happy Halloween! Over the teeth and under the gums. Look out tummy, here it comes!" He giggled. Ed looked at Jimmy and his eyes fizzled again.

 _An ugly looking alien was floating down the sidewalk, carrying a fazer and a bag._

"What is Ed doing?" Edd asked, watching Ed from the shed. Ed dragged himself out using the spatula.

"Holding us up as usual," Eddy said. Ed dragged himself over to Jimmy.

"Drop anchor, evil alien from the planet of putridity!" Ed yelled.

 _The alien beeped and held the fazer out, pointing it right at Lothar!_

"Ed?" Jimmy said, "Ooh, you're a viking!" Ed panicked and ran away.

"RAY GUN!" Ed cried.

 _Lothar ran away and_ pulled up a stop sign.

"Earth is not your salad bar!" Ed yelled, hitting Jimmy with the sign.

"Goodness gracious," Edd said from the side of the shed. Eddy started laughing. Ed hit Edd in the head with Jimmy's pumpkin flashlight.

"Its proton pulverizer, Double D," Ed said, dropping the flashlight in front of an unamused Edd, "Protect yourself from the jinx." He tossed the bag of candy down in front of Eddy, who looked inside and grinned widely.

"Nice work, low lump!" Eddy said.

"Tweren't nothing," Ed said.

* * *

Around the corner, Sarah, dressed as a princess, was walking down the sidewalk when she tripped over something.

"Of all the stupid-" She gasped when she saw what- or _who_ \- she had tripped over. Jimmy was pounded into the concrete, "Jeepers creepers, Jimmy!" Jimmy groaned.

"Ed attacked me, Sarah," Jimmy said weakly, "He was so hairy and brawny." Sarah frowned.

* * *

At the shed, Ed was sharpening the spatula on an old fashion knife sharpener.

"Ed has gone beyond the bounds of acceptable Halloween etiquette, Eddy," Edd was saying.

"Yeah, stealing someone else's candy isn't cool," Bella said, her arms crossed.

"Hey, a dented stop sign!" Eddy said, pointing at the sign Ed had used to beat Jimmy, "That's the first clue to Spook-E-Ville! We're on the right track!" Edd rolled his eyes.

"The sign that _Ed_ dented?" Edd asked. Someone poked his shoulder and Edd turned around to see Sarah. She was smiled, but then burst out yelling.

"WHERE'S JIMMY'S CANDY?!"

Edd and Bella backed up and Eddy hid the bag of candy behind his back. Ed looked over and his eyes fizzled again.

 _Lothar held out his spatula at the evil vampiress._

 _"You shall not feast upon our life's blood this eve, vampiressess!" Lothar yelled. The orange haired vampiress jumped on Lothar and roared._

Sarah was being held up by Ed, who was trying to keep her coming getting any closer. Sarah held Ed in a position where his face turned red.

"JIMMY'S CANDY!" Sarah yelled. Ed held Sarah down and hit her face on the ground, not knowing it was actually her. Eddy ran around the corner and Bella hid behind Edd, who was hiding behind his hands. Sarah got back on top of Ed, who kicked her off.

 _The vampiress flew threw the air, landing on the ground. Lothar pulled a steak from his pants._

 _"A steak will defeat you!" He said, shoving the meat onto the vampiress's chest. She looked at him, confused._

 _"Cafe au leit!" Lothar said, picking up the vampiress and throwing her into a grave._

Eddy peaked out from behind the shed at Ed, who had just buried his sister.

"The vampiressess has been vanquished!" Ed stated proudly. He pulled out his spatula, "To Spook-E-Ville!"

"Ed, you got any more of those steaks?!" Eddy asked, running after Ed. Edd frowned and ran over to where Sarah was buried, watering her with a watering can. Her head popped out of the dirt in a bud. Tomatoes blossomed from her ears.

"Oh dear," Edd said, "Uh, happy Halloween?" He ran after his friends, "Coming, Lothar!"

" _Sono così dispiaciuto super-_ " Bella apologised, running after Edd, "Wait up!"

* * *

Ed and Eddy were running, Eddy laughing. Edd and Bella were trying to catch up with them.

"Fellows, wait!" Edd called, but accidentally bumped into Nazz, who was dressed as Medusa. Nazz giggled and help Edd up.

"Was that like a trick, or a treat?" Nazz asked, "Happy Halloween, you two!"

" _Felice Halloween_ to you too," Bella said. Edd turned bright red.

"And a good all Hallows' eve to you, Nazz," Edd said, "Ooh, kudos on your Medusa costume. A Greek mythological reference is a welcome change from the usual horror cliches."

He started walking off.

"Dude!" Nazz called, "Want a handful of some sugar coated bon-bons?" She held out her bag of candy.

"Pardon?" Edd asked.

"Oh come on, whatever you're supposed to be," Nazz said, taking Edd's hand, "Let's go check out the next house. Come on, you too, Bella."

"I'm Bellatrix!" Bella giggled.

"Oh, well, actually, we're expected somewhere," Edd said nervously, "Oh dear."

* * *

Ed and Eddy were still running.

"Hey wait a minute!" Eddy said, skidding to a stop and grabbing Ed, "Double D's got the map! Spook-E-Ville, Ed!"

* * *

Nazz was knocking on a house door.

"Perhaps they're not home," Edd said after no reply.

"It's Halloween, dude, duh," Nazz said. Ed and Eddy spotted them.

"Well, some people don't always hand out candy," Bella said.

"What are they doing with Nazz?" Eddy asked, "Weasels." Ed's eyes fizzed once more.

"RELEASE THEM!" Ed yelled, rushing over.

"Thank you!" Nazz said to the person handing out candy, "This stuff's gonna go straight to my thighs!"

"I don't care about being super skinny," Bella said, "I'm perfect the way I am." Ed tackled Nazz.

 _Medusa growled at Lothar, who had just tackled her suddenly. Lothar had his eyes shut tight._

 _"Do not look in her eyes, lest you turn to stone!" He said, looking away. For a brief second, he glanced at Medusa and she stared back. Lothar turned to a statue._

Nazz looked at Ed, who was just standing there.

 _Lothar broke through the stone with his spatula, shattering the monster with broken rock. He pulled out two clothes pins and clamped his eyes shut. He ran away from Medusa._

The kids watched as Ed ran into then behind the house and come back with a cement mixer.

 _Lothar lifted a cement mixer above his head, slamming it on the head of Medusa, giving her a taste of her own medicine by twirling the cement and making it quickly dry and hard._

Ed jumped away from the mixer and in front of Edd, standing back up.

"Venomous vixen of Macy's!" Ed said, "Lothar has spoken." Laughing, he walked off and ended up tripping over a wagon.

"ED!" Edd cried, running over, "What has gotten into you?!

"You just encased Nazz in cement!" Bella said. Ed didn't listen as he looked at the wagon. He held it up over his head.

"We shall take this chariot!" Ed said, climbing in. He pulled Edd and Bella in and pushed off, speeding past Eddy, who he grabbed by his hair, "Onward to Spook-E-Ville!"

Nazz stumbled forward.

"You are totally in for it!" Nazz yelled at Ed, "That was so not cool!" She fell forward.

* * *

"Bonzai!" Ed yelled as the wagon raced down the street and heads off road, crashing into an old car, "Skip!" Ed popped his head out of the glove compartment, "Lothar must adjust himself."

"EDWARD!" Edd yelled, pulling himself out from in between the diver's seat with a spring wrapped around his head, "That's it, mister. I've had just about enough of-" Ed puts his finger on Edd's lips to shush him, making the spring fall off.

"SHUSH!" Ed yelled, scaring Edd slightly. Ed burst out of the car door, "Monsters have super good ears, Double D." Ed looked in a nearby bush.

"Ow," Bella mumbled, appearing in the back seat. Eddy climbed out from under the passenger seat.

"Eddy, Bella, I'm becoming increasingly concerned with Ed's irrational demeanor," Edd said, buckling up for some reason, "I fear the over-ingestion in viewing such a tawdry amount of horror movies has had an unfavorable effect on our friend!" Eddy looked bored and Bella looked confused.

"So, what's the next clue?" Eddy asked, elbowing Edd.

"Why do I even bother?" Edd asked himself, stepping out of the car and looking at the map, "No one listens. What do they care?" Eddy and Bella followed Edd.

"I care, except I can't understand anything you're actually saying," Bella said.

"It says here the next clue to look for is an abandoned hearse," Edd read, looking through a magnifying glass, "That's silly. Where on Earth would we find-" He stopped mid sentence and looked back at the car Ed had crashed into: an abandoned hearse.

"That's it!" Eddy said, rushing over, "You found a clue." Edd stared, shocked.

"Just as the map indicated," Edd said.

"Wow, _Doppio_ D, you rock at this," Bella said. Eddy grabbed the map from Edd.

"Hearse, check," Eddy said, "What's next, huh?" He shoved it back into Edd's hands, "Read it!" Edd frowned and looked back at the map. But before he could say anything, an egg hit him in the face. Kevin was on his bike with a carton of eggs, laughing.

"One down, two dorks to go," Kevin said, "Man, I love Halloween." Edd was wiping the egg off his face and Eddy backed away slowly.

"Oh Lothar?" Eddy called. Ed's head popped up from a bush behind Eddy just as an egg hit him.

"One more to go," Kevin said.

"If I could, I would probably Crucio you," Bella snapped, "Ok, not really, but I'm just getting into character." Ed's eyes fizzed as he looked at Kevin.

 _The headless horseman stood on the hill, riding his horse and holding up a flaming pumpkin in one hand and Kevin's head in the other._

 _"The headless horseman from Cirrhosis of the Liver Pool," Lothar gasped. Kevin's head laughed evilly._

Ed ran in front of his friends.

"Take the women to safety!" Ed said.

 _The horseman threw a flaming pumpkin at Lothar._

An egg hit Ed in the face and he skidded to a stop.

 _The horseman came running forward, another pumpkin in his hand._

"Is it me or does raw egg smell like a wet dog?" Eddy asked. Ed grabbed his friends and ran away.

"Retreat!" Ed cried, "The horseman is too strong! Ally-oop!" He threw Edd, Eddy, and Bella into the air and over the edge of a cliff. They screamed loudly. Ed ran to the edge of the cliff and looked down at them then back at the advancing Kevin.

 _The horseman was galloping towards Lothar, and on the edge of a cliff, the viking hero had nowhere to go and no one to turn to._

 _"Adios, goofball!" Kevin's head laughing evilly in a dark voice. He threw the flaming pumpkin right at Lothar's head, sending him backwards a few inches, but not yet off the cliff. Lothar's mouth was flaming and he stuck out his tongue with the pumpkin on it! Using his tongue as a bat, Lothar hit the pumpkin back at the evil headless horseman, knocking him off of his horse and onto the ground, breaking into pieces._

 _"Dude," Kevin's head said. The horse kept going and went to push Lothar off the cliff, but Lothar held on with his toes._

 _"Stop!" Lothar begged, picking up the horse, "Shoo fly, don't bother me!" He threw the horse onto the ground._

Kevin watched as Ed threw his bike to the ground, making it break into pieces.

"My bike!" Kevin said.

"Tell the witches that their jinx is for naught!" Ed said, dropping the spatula down his pants, "Says Lothar!" He jumped into the sky in front of the moon before falling down to where his friends were. He landed on them, knocking them back to the ground.

"Hey blowhard, you dented my hair!" Eddy yelled, pointing. Edd groaned.

"I think I bruised my coccyx," Edd said. Eddy was straightening his hair.

"No thanks are necessary!" Ed said. Bella growled angrily.

"I'll thank you right up your-" Eddy was cut off by Edd.

"Eddy, Ed's B-movie assimilation requires immediate psychiatric attention," Edd said, "We best turn back."

"Yeah, I'm getting tired of this," Bella pouted.

"Back nothing!" Eddy poked Edd's face, "It's Spook-E-Ville or bust. Got it, spore boy and death girl? Next clue!"

"I not a death _girl_!" Bella huffed, "I am a Death EATER!"

Edd took out the map.

"Spore boy," He said to himself, "Witty. Very witty. Unless I'm mistaken it reads 'At the bottom of the embankment, you will find a tall oak tree'." They looked up at a forest.

"There's a kazillion stupid trees!" Eddy shouted. Ed ran forward.

"The flipper of my forefathers shall lead us to the path!" Ed said, putting the end of the spatula in his ear, "Is that so? Uh huh." He started 'following' the spatula, "Do tell." Edd, Eddy, and Bella followed, Eddy carrying Edd.

"Come on, he's on to something, sockhead!" Eddy said.

"This is ridiculous!" Edd said as Eddy ran past Ed, who's eyes were staticy again as he looked up into the trees. Bella noticed this and stopped. Eddy backed up after also noticing.

"Do not be afraid," Ed whispered.

 _Up in the trees, Lothar spotted the great beast. It started climbing down._

 _"The spider creature is a horrific but sadly misunderstood monster, who longs for companionship," Lothar said, "And checkers."_

Jonny was climbing down a rope, dressed as a spider.

"We come in peace!" Ed yelled, bowing down.

"Far out costumes, guys!" Jonny said, "What's Double D supposed to be? Throw up?"

"Yes, well, and a happy Hallo-" Edd got hit over the head by Ed.

"One wrong word are we are goners," Ed whispered to Edd.

 _"Oh great spider creature," Lothar began, choosing his words carefully, as not to anger the beast._

"We seek the path to Spook-E-Ville!" Ed continued, pulling out the bag of candy from Eddy's shirt.

 _"Help us, as we bring you offerings!" Lothar said, holding out the bag. He dumped some candy out on the ground in front of the spider._

"I might caution that you have any and all Halloween candy carefully inspected by your parents, as a-" Ed threw the spatula at Edd again. Eddy looked in the bag of candy.

"Silence!" Ed ordered, "Do not insight its wrath!"

 _"Do the offerings please you?" Lothar asked, turning back to the giant spider, who was finished gobbling up all the candy._

"Are you kidding me?" Jonny asked, his mouth full, "Yummy yummy yummy! If it's a path you're looking for, maybe that's it." He pointed at a dirt path heading through the trees. The four of them ran along the path.

"A thousand _gesundheits,_ oh misshapen one," Ed said.

"If you see Plank, tell that slowpoke to get his heinie back here!" Jonny called, "I'm tired of waiting for him!"

"We're almost there!" Eddy said, "I can feel it in my sideburns!"

* * *

Ed led the group through a moonlit swamp, a giant rock, and across a deep gorge.

"Idiot," Eddy said, "We gotta be getting closer." He turned to Edd, "What's the next clue?" Edd's eyes widened at what he saw.

"Good Lord," Edd said. Eddy and Bella turned to see what was so bad and saw two giant shadows.

"Ah!" Eddy said.

"Stay still!" Ed instructed.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Bella said.

"What could that be?" Edd asked.

"Look at the map," Eddy said, "Maybe it's a clue." Ed grabbed his friends by their heads and dragged them along.

"Lothar no need no stinking map, Eddy!" Ed said.

"Yeah, because Lothar need a stinking brain!" Eddy snapped. He grabbed Ed's feet, causing him to flip over and land on his face. He dropped Bella and Edd, the latter falling down the slight hill they were on and landing on Wilfred, who was with Rolf.

"Wilfred!" Rolf said, picking Edd up by his feet, "Fleas again?" Wilfred's tail was stuck in Edd's tooth gap but slipped out.

"BLEGHH!" Edd said, rubbing his gap.

"Happy Halloween, Rolf," Edd said.

"Rolf?" Eddy popped out from behind a tree. So did Bella.

"Oh, _meno male_ ," Bella sighed.

"Hello!" Rolf greeted. He had a bucket of mushrooms on his head, "One-shy-of-a-full-load Ed boys and cat girl!" He dropped Edd, "Come celebrate in this, Rolf's autumn ritual of The Gathering of The Fungus Which Burns Into The Moist of the Moonlight!" Rolf happily picked a mushroom and put it in the bucket. Ed looked over at Rolf and his eyes shimmered with static again. Rolf held the mushrooms out to Edd, Eddy, and Bella.

"Go ahead," Rolf said, "Try a nibble. A peck. A morsel. A gnaw."

"No grazie," Bella said, "I don't like mushrooms."

"Do not taste it!" Ed yelled, jumping on his friends. He knocked the bucket out of Rolf's hands and squished the mushrooms inside.

 _The one-eyed ogre beat down upon Lothar, the latter making the former furious. The ogre went to smack Lothar with its club and the viking held out his spatula, but the ugly beast smacked it out of his grasp. Lothar watched in fear as his one and only weapon stuck in a tree. His eyes widened as the ogre tried to attack him yet again, but Lothar quickly moved out of the way and ran. The ogre's pet, which somewhat resembled a pig, squealed and jumped at Lothar, grabbing him in its mouth and throwing him into a tree._

 _Lothar fell to the ground next to the tree. The ogre and its pet were bolting towards him. He was cornered._

"Do-do Ed-boy," Rolf said as Ed tried to pull his spatula out of the tree, "Tell Rolf why Rolf shouldn't beat you mercilessly with a stick.

 _The two beasts were still advancing and Lothar just couldn't pry his weapon from the tree trunk. Finally it came free, just in time to smack the ogre right in the face. The ogre held its one eye in pain._

Rolf cried out, holding his eye.

"Rolf's eye!" He cried, "Mama, a bandage! Rolf requires a-" Rolf fell in the nearby stream and got swept away.

"Hey, can we get to Spook-E-Ville before next Halloween?!" Eddy yelled at his friend. All this horsing around was costing them precious time. Ed ran past and grabbed his friends again.

"Quickly!" Ed said, running over a wooden bridge, "Before the troll's mother shows up!" He threw his friends into the woods and right into some trees.

 _Lothar kept running and bumped right into a giant green plank monster!_

 _"It is he!" Lothar shouted, "Franken-Plank!"_

"Wouldn't that be Plankenstien?" Bella asked, rubbing her head.

 _Lothar backed up, holding his weapon at the ready. He tripped over a fall tree and grabbed it._

 _"Take this!" He yelled, hitting the monster with it over and over, "And this!"_

"Ed?" Edd said, him, Eddy, and Bella rushing over. Ed was hitting Plank with a small sapling.

"And that!" Ed said.

"Not again!" Edd said.

"Y'know, I'm starting to think he's paying us more abuse than everyone else," Bella muttered, cracking her back.

"Up your nose!" Ed said to Plank.

"'Ed this, Ed that'," Eddy mimicked, "Why don't you just marry the guy?" Eddy snatched the map, "I'm going to Spook-E-Ville." He raced off.

"I'm already taken, Eddy," Ed said, running after his friend.

"Hey, wait up!" Bella called, hurrying after. Edd looked down at Plank and set him against a tree.

"Now be a good lad and go to Jonny," Edd said. He ran after his friends.

* * *

"I can't read this stupid thing!" Eddy said, running through the dark woods.

"Let me try," Bella said, "I can see in the dark, after all." Ed jumped on Eddy and grabbed the map.

"Lothar knows all!" Ed said, licking the map and sticking it to his face, "At the end of the path, look for the big rock!" Ed ran into said rock.

"That's a rock," Eddy said, getting excited.

"Behind the rock, touch the shovel," Ed said. Eddy ran forward.

"Touched it!" He said.

"Jeez, Eddy, you're almost as jumpy as I am," Bella joked.

"We're almost there!" Eddy said.

"Under the hose we must go!" Ed said. Edd caught up to them and stopped.

"Well I never," Edd said, "Who would leave a perfectly good shovel in the middle of-" Eddy grabbed Edd.

"Under the hose, sockhead!" Eddy said, pulling Edd along. Edd crashed into Ed.

"Now, close your eyes and take ten steps backwards," Ed said. Eddy did so, stepping on Edd and Ed's heads on the numbers one and two.

"One, two, three, four five six seven eight nine, TEN!" He turned around to see a neighborhood.

"IT'S SPOOK-E-VILLE!" He shouted excitedly, "Is my brother the man or what?!"

"So this is _fantasma-e-ville_?" Bella asked looking around, "Looks...familiar…."

"I agree, Bella," Edd said, "There's something not quite right here."

"Get a big bag!" Eddy said, not listening, "It's trick or treating time!"

"STOP!" Ed yelled as Eddy was about to run off, "Do you hear it?" Ed pounced on his friends, "They have joined forces to smash us! Leave it to Lothar!"

"Yeah run, you boneheaded chinless lump," Eddy said, "Come on, you two! Let's hit that house!" Eddy ran up and rang the doorbell. Edd and Bella followed, looking around. Eddy held his candy bucket out.

"Um, Eddy," Edd said. Eddy frowned.

"What's with these people?" He asked, ringing the doorbell again.

"Eddy, look," Edd said.

"This place really does seem familiar, Eddy," Bella said.

"I bet you they're faking not being home," Eddy said, looking in the mail slot.

"Oh for Heaven's sakes, Eddy!" Edd said, "This is your house!"

"What?" Eddy said, confused, "I win the lottery or something?" Bella smacked her forehead.

"No, Eddy, it's _really_ your house!" Edd repeated, "We've gone in a complete circle! We're back in the cul-de-sac."

"This _is_ my house," Eddy finally realized.

"Seriously?" Bella asked, "We recognized your own house before _you_ even did!"

"Seems your brother tricked rather than treated you think Halloween, Eddy," Edd said, setting his hand on Eddy's shoulder.

"Is my brother a jerk or what?" Eddy said angrily. Ed shoved them into a light post. His eyes were flickering with static.

"Act natural," Ed warned. Everyone who Ed had beaten up was slowly advancing towards him.

"Ed!" Sarah, AKA the vampiress yelled, "You give Jimmy his candy back!"

"You have made a mockery of Rolf's fungal festivity!" Rolf, AKA the giant ogre said.

"Plank's pressing charges, you bully!" Jonny, AKA the spider said, holding up Plank, AKA Franken-Plank or Plankenstien.

"Who's coughing up to fix my bike?" Kevin, AKA the headless horseman, asked.

 _Lothar was cornered as all of his enemies advanced towards him._

 _"Your mother wears army boots!" Lothar yelled._

"What now?" Eddy asked. Ed picked him, Edd, and Bella up with the spatula and carried them on it.

 _Lothar ran with his friends to his secret hideout, someplace he knew the monsters of the night couldn't penetrate._

"Uninjured, unscathed, and uncola!" Ed said, setting his friends on a big piece of wood sitting over a big hole.

"Ed, if I may make a suggestion, I think everyone would-" Edd stopped when Ed went to remove the wood.

"Abracadabra!" Ed said, taking away the wood and making Edd, Eddy, and Bella fall down the hole. Ed jumped down and covered the hole back up. He held up a lamp.

"We will wait here safe till morn," Ed smiled at his friends, "The monsters have been defeated, and the witches jinx, dashed." He hung the spatula on a root and his hat and beard on a coat rack, "Lothar is pooped." Eddy threw a rock at Ed's face.

"You idiot!" He yelled, "How are we supposed to trick or treat from down here?"

"This has been the worst Halloween ever," Bella huffed, sitting on the ground and pouting.

"Look on the bright side, Eddy, Bella," Edd said, "No cavities this Halloween." Edd smiled nervously. The top opened up and down dropped a ladder, right on Edd's head.

"See? Plank was right!" Jonny said, letting down a rope. Kevin started climbing down the ladder and the other down their own ropes.

"Rolf sees him!" Rolf yelled.

"Ed, they found us out!" Eddy said, "Do something!"

Silly-willies," Ed said, "There are no monsters cuz Lothar has conquered all!" He pulled out a newspaper, "Kids these days."

"Rolf wants first dibs on the doo-doo Ed-boy!" Rolf said. The kids finally reached the bottom, but instead of going for all of the Eds and Bella, they went past Edd, Eddy, and Bella and straight for Ed.

 _Lothar looked up from his newspaper and saw, to his horror, that the monsters were back! He had no time to get to his weapon as the beasts ganged up on him. He had thought he had defeated them all, but he was sadly mistaken._


	3. Jingle Jingle Jangle

Bells ring through the air as snowflakes fall down upon the cul-de-sac. Jonny is the only one outside as he draws a tongue on Plank, sticking out of his mouth. Smiling, Jonny holds Plank out to allow him to 'catch' snowflakes on his tongue. Jonny does the same. Above them, the words 'Ed, Edd, Bella n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle' appear.

"Whee!" Jonny says happily.

In front of another house, a sign reads 'Written By' and words on the house behind it say 'KittyKatBella.' The house next door has decorations saying 'Based on Danny Antonucci's Ed, Edd n Eddy.' A street light next to the house shines on words saying 'Words By The English Language.' In front of Ed's house, the words 'Please Enjoy!- KittyKatBella' are seen.

At Eddy's house, his parents' car backed out of the driveway and drove off. As soon as they were out of sight, Eddy, dressed in all black and holding a flashlight, ran down the stairs inside, slipping on the carpet at the bottom. He got up and entered the living room, where the Christmas tree was located. After seeing no presents, Eddy ran down the hallway to the closet at the bottom of the stairs. He looked inside. He then entered the attic.

"Oh come on," Eddy said, looking around, "Give me a break." He looked in an old chest but only saw some junk, "Parents, who invented them?" He went to walk away but noticed a squeaky floorboard. Looking down, he stepped on it again and smiled.

"Ah ha!" He said, tossing the flashlight in his mouth and lifting up the floor to reveal a stash of Christmas presents, "The Christmas stash!" He set the flashlight on a pile of books so it would point at the presents and went back over to them. Grabbing a box, he set it down and looked around carefully. He lifted up the bow and carefully pushed the box out. He started carefully tearing off a piece of tape holding the wapping together. He unfolded the wrapping and held it upside-down so the box would fall out. Setting the wrapping aside, he opened the box and held up a sweater vest. He blew a raspberry and grabbed a box saying 'To: Eddy. From: Mom' and tore it open.

"A dickie?" Eddy said, "They still make these?" He tossed it aside and tore open another box, pulling out a pair of reindeer socks, "Say it ain't so!" He tore open yet another box and started foaming at the mouth seeing the pajamas.

"I HATE GETTING CLOTHES FOR CHRISTMAS!" Eddy yelled, tossing the pajamas aside and hitting the flashlight, making it point at a mirror, which reflected it into the open window at the sky. Eddy was still tearing open presents.

"You're next, Marie," Lee said. They were in their trailer and all had a paper crown, except Marie.

"Christmas crackers are a hoot!" Marie said happily, grabbing a pack.

"Yeah, they're a blast," Brandon joked.

"Hurry up!" May said, "Maybe you'll get a paper crown."

"Of course I'll get a paper crown," Marie said, holding the crackers in May's face, "They all come with a paper crown, stupid." Marie opened the crackers and May held her ears, but nothing happened. The package just fell to the ground.

"It's a dud, Marie!" May said, putting her face by the crackers.

"Just like you, huh, May?" Lee laughed, Suddenly, the package exploding, pushing May's face inside her shirt.

"Look guys, May got a makeover!" Marie said, grabbing the paper crown and putting it on. May pulled her head out of her shirt.

"And you were worried you wouldn't get a crown," May said stupidly. She then gasped and pointed out the window, "Do you see what I see?" She was pointing at the light Eddy's flashlight was making, which looking like a twinkling star, "Something twinkling in the sky!"

"Where?" Lee asked, looking.

"She said the sky, stupid," Marie said, shoving her sister out of the way.

"Where in the sky?" Brandon said, appearing next to Marie.

"Oh yeah, I see it," Lee said, grabbing her sisters and brother by their necks and moving them, "Bundle up, you three. Let's see what the hub-bub's all about."

"Yeah May," Marie said.

"Yeah Marie," May said.

The four Kankers got dressed and headed out, following the star.

Meanwhile, at Ed's house, several signs were pointing at his house, saying things like 'Land Heer Santa' and 'Don't Miss Ed's!' Ed was dragging the chimney across the house to his room, waking Sarah.

"Not too shabby," Ed said when he set the chimney down in his room. He stuck his head up the chimney and looked at even more signs, "Chimney ready and waiting!" A bell rang and Ed ran into the other room, "Oh oh oh! And-" He returned with a pan of gravy cakes and a carton of milk. He set them on the chair, "Santa's favorite- gravy cakes and milk. Yummy yum yum!" He was writing something on a piece of paper and set it on the chair. It said 'Santa Sit Heer' with a picture of Santa's butt and and arrow pointing at the chair, "All nice and cosy for Santa to rest his belly. I'm such a good boy!" He started dancing around, "Check your list and check it twice, for Santa Claus is co-" Ed tripped and fell on his stomach. He looked up and saw a certain little orange haired brat standing in his doorway.

"Sarah!" Ed cried happily. He got up, "Root-e-toot-toot and rub-a-tum-tum, Santa's-"

"Why'd you take the chimney, fathead?!" Sarah yelled, getting in Ed's face.

"It is Christmas, Sarah!" Ed answered, "And I, Ed the elf, awaits its jolliness!"

"You just make sure Santa sees my stocking," Sarah said, holding up her stocking, "Or I'll stuff you in the turkey." Ed took the stocking, "Got it?"

"Turkey's are practically chickens," Ed said, going to hang up his sister's stocking, "Fun."

"'Ed the elf'," Sarah mumbled, "Nimrod." She exited the room.

"And a figgy pudding to you, baby sister!" Ed called, turning to see the stocking and seeing he had used way too many nails. Someone started knocking, and Ed's first instinct was to look up the chimney, "SANTA!" Seeing nothing but still hearing the knock, he removed his head from the chimney, "Santa?" He saw a hand knocking on his window. He ran over, "Santa!" But who he saw was not Santa, but Edd and Bella, two guests who were equally as welcome. Felice was standing with them.

"A very merry Christmas to you, Ed," Edd said, holding a plant, "We just thought we'd visit before dinner and give you your-" Edd was cut off by Ed grabbing him and Bella, who was holding what looked like a toy laser gun.

"I'll be home for Christmas, guys!" Ed cried happily pulling his friends inside. Bella got through the window, but Edd's large coat got stuck, "For Santa Claus is coming!"

"Let me be the first to say how happy I am for you, Ed," Edd groaned, "But you're stretching my mittens!" Edd popped through the window, hitting the wall and bouncing off, his coat and snowpants falling on the chair.

"Santa's comfy zone!" Ed cried, rushing over and throwing the clothes off, "Ed the elf has fixed it." Felice jumped in the window.

"Oh, are you an elf too, Ed?" Bella asked. She had taken off her coat. She was wearing a green dress with white fluffing on the end of the sleeves and the bottom. She also had pink leggings and brown boots, making her look like a female elf.

"Yeah!" Ed nodded happily.

"Awesome!" Bella grinned, "I was just at Santa's workshop."

"Oh, I'm on the nice list, right?" Ed asked.

"Of course!" Bella beamed. Edd had been shoved into the wall. Felice looked at him.

"As I was saying, what I brought you at once was a poinsettia, Ed," Edd said, pulling out a crumpled plant.

"And I got you a laser gun thing," Bella said, "It's one of my favorite toys. See, it makes noise." She pressed the trigger and it made a shooting sound.

"Aw," Ed smiled, "Hug?" He started walking towards Edd and Bella.

Oh dear, Edd thought, Chin up, Eddward. Ignore his odor, smile, let the spirit of the season take-

"ED!" Edd cried as Ed pulled Edd and Bella into a big hug. Bella giggled and gave him a big hug back. Felice rubbed her head against Ed's leg, purring.

"I feel all fuzzy inside, guys!" Ed said happily.

"Tis the season, Ed," Edd smiled.

"Tis?" Ed asked, setting Edd and Bella down.

"The warmth, Ed," Edd said, "That 'fuzzy feeling' is the spirit of the holiday."

"Spirit?" Ed looked confused.

"From here, Ed," Edd said, setting his hand on Ed's heart.

"My udder?" Ed asked, still confused.

"You certainly know how to tax one's patience, Ed," Edd said, still smiling.

"May I try?" Bella asked, "I speak smidiot, which is a combo of smart and idiot. Ed, that feeling is like how you feel inside when, say, you're around chickens or gravy, or what I feel when I'm with my friends. It's what you feel in your heart when you give someone a present, or find out you're on the nice list. It's like being covered in a warm blanket fresh from the dryer, when the heat takes over your body when you drink a cup of hot chocolate, when you snuggle up with a kitty in front of a roaring fire."

"Oooh!" Ed said, smiling. Just then, Eddy kicked the window open and jumped inside, startling Felice.

"Eddy!" Ed yelled happily, running over, "Santa's coming to my house!" Eddy leaned back away from Ed, who was in his face.

"Yeah right!" Eddy yelled angrily, grabbing Ed's face, "And I'm a little leprechaun looking for his pot of gold." Eddy threw Ed to the ground and jumped in the chair now known as Santa's comfy spot. He knocked the gravy cakes and milk to the ground.

"I hate Christmas," Eddy grumbled.

"Oh come now, Eddy," Edd said, "Surely you jest." Ed and Bella looked over, worried. Ed ran around, panicking. Eddy leaned over the edge of the chair, "Eddy?"

"You know what?" Eddy said, "I found my parent's Christmas stash, and all of my presents bite, Double D!"

"YOU WHAT?!" Bella and Edd yelled.

"Oh, ho, ho, Eddy, how could you have been so selfish?!" Edd sobbed, "Oh, your parents' trust, shattered! Shame on you!"

"Now I have to tell Santa to put you on the naughty list!" Bella frowned, "And I hate it when I have to put people on the naughty list! And I was going to give you a card with something I knew you'd like, but know I'm thinking you don't deserve it."

"Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me," Ed said, running past with a board and lifting Eddy from the chair.

"Hey!" Eddy said, "You know it, and I know it. Christmas is the one time of year when parents are supposed to buy you everything you want! And all I got was lame old clothes!"

"Hold it right there, mister!" Edd said, "The true meaning of Christmas isn't about materialistic needs, or selfish wants. Rather, it comes from here." He set his hand on Eddy's heart.

"That's my udder you're touching," Eddy said.

"So I seriously have to explain this again?" Bella asked. Felice blew a raspberry at Eddy. Ed was setting new gravy cakes and milk on the chair.

"Silly Eddy," Ed said, picking Eddy up by his hair and setting him down near him, "Parents don't bring presents, SANTA DOES!" He started running in circles, "Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I am such a lucky elf!"

"Well, parents also give kids presents," Bella said, "And so does Santa. And I am also a lucky elf, to have an elf friend like you."

"It's like a nightmare before Christmas, Double D!" Eddy said, burying his face in his hands.

"Hello?" Ed said, picking up a small light bulb from the chair.

"I've never seen so many socks, and the underwear?" Eddy continued, "A kid shouldn't have to see that kind of stuff!" Ed dropped the light bulb in Eddy's pocket,

"Well Eddy, I for one think you need to adopt a better attitude," Edd said. Eddy turned around to glare at Ed. Eddy started mocking Edd.

"'I think you need to adopt a better'…" Eddy got an idea, "Adopt. Stay with me." Eddy pretended to sleep, "I wake up. It's Christmas morning. But I'm in someone else's house, and I cash in on their sweet presents! I'm putting myself up for adoption, Double D!" He ran on Edd's face for a second on his way over to the window.

"You're what?!" Bella cried.

"Adoption?" Edd asked, shocked, "But Eddy, you can't forsaken your own family!" Eddy was trying to climb out of the window. He opened it, "It's Christmas, Eddy!"

"That's right, and I want presents!" Eddy jumped out of the window and walked off.

"You'll regret this, Eddy," Edd warned, "Don't turn your back on the true meaning of Christmas!"

"Felice, mantenere un occhio su di lui, vero?" Bella asked Felice in Italian, "La vostra pelliccia bianca si findono con la neve. Egli non sarà nemmeno si nota." Felice nodded and jumped into the snow, following Eddy.

"Santa's not going to like this one bit, guys," Ed said.

"No, Ed," Bella sighed, shaking her head and watching Eddy walk off, "No he isn't."

Eddy walked through the snow, Felice secretly following him.

"Can't wait to see what I'm gonna get this year," Eddy was saying to himself, "Maybe a car...maybe a diamond watch." Felice rolled her eyes. Eddy fell off the edge of a snow bank. The snow around one house had been cleared completely away, "Where'd the snow go?" Eddy walked up to the door and knocked using the frozen wreath on the door, which broke into pieces. The door opened and Eddy smiled.

"Ho ho ho, Jonny boy," Eddy greeted. Jonny leaned over and bit Eddy's nose, "YEOUCH!" Eddy held his nose.

"Nippin' at your nose, Eddy," Jonny said, pointing at his own nose. He was wearing a cardboard crown and a light blue robe, "Get it? Hahaha. I'm Jack Frost, and Plank's Mr. Snowflake!" Jonny held up Plank, who had a paper snowflake taped onto his head. Eddy glared.

"Why you dirty-" Eddy changed the subject, "Listen up, Jonny. It's the darndest thing! I was just walking down the street when a reindeer swoops down and lands right beside me!" Felice was listening from the snow. She had to admit, Eddy was good at coming up with wild stories on the dot.

"No way, Jose!" Jonny gasped.

"Way!" Eddy said, "And he had a note in his mouth. A telegram from Santa!"

"Right on!" Jonny said. Eddy pulled out a piece of paper.

"Santa says he got so fat over the summer, he can't fit down my chimney," Eddy said. Felice could see the 'note' was really a failed math test. Jonny saw, too, but didn't say anything as Eddy pulled the paper away, "So he's gonna leave my presents at your house."

"My house?" Jonny asked happily, "What are you waiting for?" He pulled Eddy inside and he saw that Jonny's whole house was covered in snow and ice. How the kid didn't freeze every night, Eddy didn't know.

"Make yourself at home, Eddy," Jonny was saying, "Do you wanna warm up by the fire?" Jonny giggled, "Cuz you can't! It's ice, see?" He flicked the ice fire, "I'm Jack Frost, and he's Mister Snowflake!"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, ya bald-headed-" Eddy looked at Jonny, "So what's with all the snow and-" He fell, "Ice?"

"Each Christmas we bring winter inside, Eddy," Jonny said, skating over, "It's our family tradition. A small thanks to Mother Nature for everything she's given us!" Jonny bit Eddy's nose again.

"YEOW!" Eddy shouted, jumping up and sliding over to the frozen tree.

"Nipped your nose, Eddy," Jonny repeated. Eddy looked at the tree and his eyes widened.

"Presents!" He said happily, grabbing one. They were all encased with ice, "Hey Jack, get me an ice pick, will ya? I wanna see what I got." Jonny looked confused.

"Ice pick?" He asked. He listened to Plank, "Mr. Snowflake says, 'No problem, Eddy!'"

"So what are you waiting for?" Eddy said, "It'll take all night to crack these babies open." Jonny shoved a trash can lid in Eddy's hands, knocking the presents into the air.

"What's this?" Eddy asked. Jonny pulled a rope, "What's that?" His question was answered when the floor gave way, leading to a giant ice slide.

"See ya!" Jonny said before Eddy fell. Yelling, Eddy rode on the trash can lid and near the end, his tongue got stuck on the ice, so when he flew out of the door, he gripped the tree on the other side of the street, which Felice was snoozing in. She woke suddenly when Eddy and Jonny appeared, Jonny walking on Eddy's stretched tongue. Felice had fallen into the snow, but neither boy seemed to notice.

"We're onto your shtick, Eddy!" Jonny said, "Mr. Snowflake had you figured from the get go. You're nothing but a greedy Pete, trying to steal out Christmas!" Jonny poked Eddy's head and walked back across his tongue, slamming the door on it.

"OW!" Eddy yelled, letting go of the tree. His tongue popped out of the door. He walked back over angrily, his bruised tongue sticking out of his mouth, "Ah, who ya? I got a million Christmasses on this block!" He walked off and Felice followed, camouflaging in the snow.

Eddy walked over to Rolf's house, who was in a sheet costume hanging meat from a line on his house while standing on his cow. When he finished, he stepped off the cow and set a basket of meat on the ground. He turned around to admire his work and Eddy walked up next to him. Rolf eyed Eddy curiously. While neither were looking, Felice snuck a fish from the basket of meat. Eddy looked up at Rolf, sad.

"Woe is me, woe is me," Eddy said.

"Look at you, Ed-boy," Rolf said, "Why does your face sag like Papa's pot of parsnips?"

"My parents were attacked by renegade baggages handlers, Rolf!" Eddy lied, "And they look all my presents!"

"Scoundrels!" Rolf said, "Rolf is wise to the ways of the tote-handlers! Still, they are a higher caste than the son of a shepherd. Rolf cannot help you in this matter." He started heading inside. Eddy walked in front of him.

"No, wait, I beg you!" He said, "I got no Christmas, Rolf. No presents, no family, no nothing. Please Rolf."

"You have pulled Rolf's eggplant, half-man half-woman Ed-boy," Rolf said, "Come! Grab the tail of Rolf's sheep of joy and join in Rolf's traditions and enjoy the season of mirth!" Eddy looked weirded out but did as Rolf said. Rolf ran inside, Eddy holding on the the sheep costume tail and getting thrown into a giant steak in the chimney.

"Behold, the toil of twenty-four days, Ed-boy," Rolf said as Eddy looked around. Meanwhile outside, Felice was helping herself to the extra meat outside. It reminded her of Christmas dinner back in Italy, except without all the three year old cousins pulling on her tail, ears, and whiskers.

"A celebration of whatnots, bangles, knickknacks, doodads, and an assortment cured, smoked, poached, and other mammal flesh!"

"You could smell it a mile away, stretch," Eddy said, getting up and looking at a picture, "Who's the bearded troll?" Rolf laughed.

"You cramp Rolf's bowls!" Rolf laughed, "Surely you recognize the great Yeshmiyek. She who lives in the center of the Earth, where she prepares the holiday feast for good males and females." Once again, Eddy looked weirded out. Rolf gave him a horn, "Let us sing in honor of her great stewing!" Rolf started singing.

"Deep below the dirt and rocks there lives the bearded maiden fair

Whose kitchen pot is bigger than her size of underwear, hey!"

He pointed at Eddy, who looked confused before blowing into the horn Rolf had given him.

"Yeshmiyek who peels the root and grinds the sausage with her boot!

Yeshmiyek who cures the meat and stuffs the fruit and sugared beets!

Yeshimyek who salts the pork and stabs it with her silver fork!

Yeshmiyek who cuts the cheese and gives the loaf of bread a squeeze..."

(Sinister)

"But should your chores be never done

Your feeble arms too weak to toil

Yeshmiyek will surely come

And throw you in the pot to boil."

(Happy again)

"Yeshmiyek who smokes the fish and lays a slab on every dish!

Yeshmiyek who guts the hare and seasons it with special care!"

Eddy interrupted him.

"Hold it hold it hold it!"

"Rolf does not take requests, Ed-boy. Sorry," Rolf said.

"So when do I rake in on all the cool presents?" Eddy asked.

"Presents? What presents?" Rolf laughed and continued singing.

"Yeshmiyek who bastes the lamb and spits the glaze on every ham!"

"Yeshmiyek who bastes the strudel, pickles feet and strings the noodle!

Yeshmiyek–"

Eddy left, looking annoyed. Felice, who was laying in the snow next to the empty basket, slowly got up, her belly full from all the food.

"What's a guy got to do to find a normal Christmas around here?" Eddy asked himself.

Edd and Bella watched Eddy from Ed's basement window.

"There must be a way to get through to Eddy what the spirit of Christmas is about," Edd was saying thoughtfully.

"Bella, Double D, look what I made," Ed said, showing them a picture, "A picture for Santa's wallet!" It was of Ed riding on Santa's back, who had jets strapped to him. The word 'Me' pointed to Ed and the word 'You' pointed to Santa, the words 'Santa Roolz!' underneath, "I'm the one without a hat."

"That's adorable," Bella smiled.

"That's very nice, Ed," Edd said. Ed smiled proudly, "But it saddens me to see our friend lost and so confused. I just know, deep inside him, a flame flickers for the blessings of this holiday. Perhaps it's time for fate to lend a helping hand." Ed looked confused. Edd pulled him and Bella into a group circle, explaining his plan.

The doorbell rang at Nazz's house and she opened the door to see Eddy.

"Hey Eddy!" Nazz greeted cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, dude!" Eddy smiled nervously, "You look cold. Why don't you come in? We got lots of candy canes and I'm sure I can find you a presents or two." Eddy looked at the tree with a ton of presents underneath.

"I like your Christmas!" Eddy said.

"But before you get any gifts- eggnog?" Nazz asked. Eddy took the glass, his hands shaking from excitement, "I'm also gonna have a Christmas party, so you have to put this up." She held out a small, very popular Christmas decoration, "You know what happens when someone catches you under the mistletoe, don't you, Eddy?" Eddy spit out his drink all over Nazz. Nazz pointed Eddy out the door. She was going to have him put the mistletoe up for him and Bella, but nevermind now. Eddy laughed nervously as Nazz snatched the present from his hands. Felice, who was sleeping behind the bush outside, didn't wake up. She was exhausted from all the food. Eddy walked away. After a few minutes, Felice woke up and looked in the window. She panicked after seeing Eddy wasn't there was raced off, trying to find him again.

The Kankers were trudging through the snow and found where the start had pointed the light shining from it. It was an overturned shopping cart. On top was a moldy piece of bread. May picked it up.

"What the heck is it?" She asked.

"It's a sign, stupid," Lee said. The four Kankers continued walking, stumbling upon some discarded weiner links and three pennies. Marie picked them up.

"Weiners and pennies?" She asked. They continued, walking across an old bridge and into the construction site. Inside one of the machines was a fur coat. Lee took it.

"It's a coat," She said. They continued following the star, "Come on, we're getting closer."

Eddy was walking to the next house.

"So if Christmas is about giving, how come I ain't getting?" He asked no one. Felice had finally caught up with him and hid in the snow, following. Suddenly, a wrapped present hit Eddy in the face. He didn't notice the rope attached as he grinned widely.

"A present!" He said. It started moving and Eddy followed, "Where's it going?" It led to a tree, which Eddy ran straight into. Felice, panting ran up and hid behind the tree. Eddy watched as Edd descended on a rope from the top of the tree, dressed as an angel.

"Hark, the herald angels sing, Eddy," Edd said, "I bring you tidings of great joy." Ed appeared dressed as a shepherd. Bella was behind the tree, talking to Felice.

"And low!" Ed said, "An angel showed up as they counted their flock of chickens in the night." Felice, who Bella had quickly slipped a chicken costume onto, walked out and tried to mimic a chicken, not sounding too good.

"Forsake your journey, Eddy!" Edd continued, "You are not beyond the path of redemption. You can still return to the path of goodwill and peace among your fellow-" Eddy threw a snowball at Edd.

"Nice shot, Eddy," Ed said. Eddy took the hook from Ed and used it to trip Ed, making him let go of the rope holding Edd, which in turn made Edd fall to the ground. Eddy yanked the wings from Edd's back and walked off. Felice quickly slipped out of the costume and raced after Eddy, camouflaging in the snow.

"It's not to late to embrace the joy of the season, Eddy!" Edd called.

"Fa la la la la, Eddy!" Ed added.

In Jimmy's house, the doorbell rang and Jimmy answered to see Eddy with angel wings.

"Feliz navidad!" Jimmy greeted. He looks at Eddy with the angel wings.

"Hey Jimmy, check out the wings!" Eddy said.

"Are you a Christmas angel?" Jimmy asked.

"How'd you guess?" Eddy said.

"Wow, just like how Bella is one of Santa's elves!" Jimmy said, smiling.

"Uh, yeah," Eddy said, walking inside, "Every year, Eddy the Christmas Angel shares with someone else in the spirit of gift giving. And this year happens to be your year. What's mine in mine, and what's yours is mine, get it?" He spotted the tree, "Hel-lo!" He lifted it up and looked under, "Where's the presents?"

"Quickly, I must show you something," Jimmy said leading Eddy to the other room. Eddy followed excitedly.

"Gimmie gimmie gimmie," He said, holding out his hands. Jimmy didn't give him anything. Eddy frowned, "What?" Jimmy smiled at his huge Gingerbread Christmas town, "So?"

"It's my Holly Jolly Christmas Village, silly!" Jimmy said, "Nothing says joyeux noel like the gingery smell of gingerbread sailors out on a sugar-glazed shore leave."

"Smells good enough to eat," Eddy commented.

"Oh, and look at this!" Jimmy said, drawing attention to the other table.

"Finally!" Eddy said, rushing over, "Presents?"

"If you mean the presents of delectable decorative baking, then yes!" Jimmy said, giggling, "Why settle for blase pats of butter, when using only simple cookie cutters, one can create a festive holiday assortment of butter shapes to smear onto fresh, toasty buns?" Jimmy showed Eddy a plate with three butter shapes: a snowman, a candy cane, and a star, "Oopd, having my own angel is so exciting, I've got to tinkle. Be right back!" Jimmy walked off to use the bathroom. Eddy looked at all the food then at the gingerbread town.

"Did you know that you can dazzle your guests with miniature mashed potato snowmen, using an ordinary ice cream scoop?" Jimmy asked when he returned. He cried out, "MY CHRISTMAS VILLAGE!"

Eddy had devoured the town, and was still eating.

"Destroyed, devastated, and digested!" Jimmy yelled, setting his head on the table.

"I gotta hand it to you, these cookies are to die for," Eddy said.

"You!" Jimmy said angrily, pointing at Eddy. He picked up the phone in the other room and called Sarah as Eddy finished off the gingerbread. Sarah bust the door open seconds later.

"Jimmy? Where is he?!" She asked. Eddy screamed as Sarah literally threw him out the door.

"Just a couple of presents!" Eddy begged, "It's Christmas for Pete's sake!" Sarah threw Eddy into the snowman outside.

"Scram!" She yelled. Jimmy walked outside and dropped the fake angel wings.

"And stay out," Jimmy said. He spotted Felice hiding behind the decorations outside, "Oh, hello Felice. I suppose you could have a nibble since Eddy's already ruined it." Jimmy went inside and returned with a few crumbs of the gingerbread town, which Felice happily gobbled up. She meowed thanks as the two kids went inside. Edd, Bella and Ed appeared.

"Oh Eddy, why?" Edd asked himself.

"Felice, did you save some for me?" Bella asked. Felice meowed and Bella huffed.

"Pig," She grumbled.

"Ed, Bella, it appears our efforts have had no effect on Eddy's complete lack of Christmas cheer," Edd said sadly. They watched Eddy, who had been thrown into the car outside, walked off angrily. Felice continued to follow secretly.

"Just a couple of guys wearing dresses on Christmas Eve, huh Double D?" Ed said, throwing one arm around his friend and holding the angel wings in the other.

"All is not lost, Ed," Edd said, slipping out of Ed's arm, "For this angel still has one more trick up his robe." Edd walked off with Ed and Bella following.

"I promise not to peak, Double D," Ed said.

Kevin was snowboarding in his front yard when Eddy walked up. Kevin, not noticing, threw the snowboard against the wall and walked inside, closing the door. Eddy ran up and looked in the window, so he didn't notice when Felice went to hind behind the snow board.

"Kev, wait up!" Eddy panted. He smiled at the presents inside. Eddy reached under Kevin's door and tried to open it, but couldn't quite reach. Kevin, who was sucking on a candy cane, noticed and opened the door. He leaned against the doorway and looked down at Eddy.

"Uh…" Eddy was thinking. He just blurt it out in the end, "Adopt me, bro! It's Christmas!"

"Yeah right," Kevin said, going back inside.

"No wait!" Eddy said before Kevin closed the door, "It's my parents! They were kidnapped by Aborigines! I need a present for the ransom or they'll cut off their toenails! Just one, Kev! Toenails! Gone! Forever! I swear!" Kevin wasn't buying it.

"Man, you're pathetic," Kevin said, "Fine. Wait here." He walked inside to get a present. Eddy smiled.

"Hook, line, and stinker," Eddy said. Kevin came back and handed Eddy a box.

"Here, I hope you like it," Kevin said. Eddy snatched the present.

"What is it?!" Eddy asked, "Don't tell me! Let me guess!" He tore the wrapping off, "Too late!" He looked inside and Kevin's punched him in the face, sending him flying backwards and his shoes to fall off.

"Merry Christmas, dork!" Kevin laughed. Eddy sat up out of the snow with a black eye as Kevin closed the door. Eddy ran up to the door.

"Let me in, Kev! Please!" Eddy begged, "All I want is a good Christmas!" Eddy hung his head sadly and walked off. Felice frowned and followed. Eddy walked into a large field. It started snowing and Eddy was shivering coldly as he looked back at the houses, where everyone was having a good time. Eddy kept walking sadly. He passed a small Christmas tree in the center of the field and walked over. One of the light bulbs went out. Eddy shivered and blew on his hands to try and warm up. He put his hands in his pockets and pulled out the light bulb Ed had put there earlier. Eddy looked at the tree and walked over. He replaced the old and broken light bulb with the new one. The light shone brightly and Eddy began walking away again, but the light began shining even brighter, drawing Eddy's attention. Felice noticed and ran off to get Bella, Ed, and Edd. Eddy looked back and saw the light shining and lighting up brighter than any light bulb on a tree he'd seen before. Edd, Ed, and Bella ran over happily, Ed falling over.

"Oh, Eddy, I'm so proud of you!" Edd beamed, "You did it!"

"A big hug for my little man!" Ed said, pulling Eddy into a crushing hug.

"What I do?" Eddy asked.

"You replaced the bulb, Eddy," Edd said as if it were obvious. Ed put Eddy down.

"So?" Eddy asked, "The tree needed a light and I put one in. Big whoop."

"Don't you see, Eddy?" Edd said, "You made an unselfish gesture. You gave willingly of your heart without thought of your own gain. This is the gift of giving, Eddy! This is what the spirit of Christmas in all about."

"It is?" Eddy asked. Bella nodded, "Hey, that didn't hurt a bit! Actually, it feels kinda good, guys. Cuz...Christmas ain't about what you find under a tree, Christmas is about what you find in your heart!"

"Buon Natale, Eddy," Bella smiled, slipping the card into his hand. The cul-de-sac kids started to gather around.

"That tree glows as if it were touched by an angel," Jimmy said.

"It's absolutely beautiful," Nazz commented.

"Awesome, to say the least," Kevin agreed.

"Rolf basks in the warmth of the glowing wood," Rolf said, smiling.

"Plank says that's one hot looking tomato!" Jonny said. Suddenly, a big red bag dropped from the sky, right on top of Eddy. The kids looked up at a deep voice.

"Ho ho ho!" Santa called, "Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!" He flew off. Bella tucked a little phone-looking device in her pocket and smiled innocently, a glowing halo over her head. No one else noticed, however.

"Santa?" Eddy said, popping out from under the bag.

"Take me with you!" Ed cried, running after the sleigh, "I Ed, you Santa, we good!"

"Sack?" Eddy said, noticing the bag. He looked inside, "Presents!"

"Presents?" The kids repeated.

"There's one for Jonny, and Plank, and Sarah, to Jimmy, to Nazz, Kevin, Rolf, Double D, Bella, and me!" Eddy said. He suddenly grabbed the bag and ran off, "Jackpot!"

"Where'd he go?" Jonny asked.

"Hey!" Sarah yelled.

"What the-?" Jimmy said.

"Not cool," Nazz spoke.

"Come back here!" Kevin shouted.

"Oh well," Rolf shrugged.

Eddy, laughing, ran past Ed, who was waving goodbye to Santa. Edd and Bella were following and stopped by Ed.

"Ed, Eddy has stolen Saint Nicholas' satchel of intermutual yuletide bestowals!" Edd said. Ed looked confused.

"The presents, Ed!" Edd said, "Eddy's taken the presents!"

"Hurry!" Bella said as she and Edd started running, "Oh, I'm so gonna get fired for this!"

"SANTA'S PRESENTS?!" Ed cried, following. Felice rushed after them, having a hard time in the deep snow.

Eddy dragged the gifts into Rolf's shed full of animals, shutting the door behind him. He put a board in front of the door, locking it. However, it did no good when Ed busted through with his head, angry.

"Eddy, how wrong can you be in this most wonderful time of the year?!" Edd asked, "Reconsider your actions!"

"What is it to be, young man, naughty or nice?" Ed asked, walking forward.

"I'm the one who gave willingly from his heart!" Eddy snapped, "Back off! This sack's mine!"

"You changed a lightbulb!" Bella said. Felice meowed angrily in agreement. Ed dropped the shepherd's hook and snatched the presents. He ran towards the door.

"Santa brought presents for all the good little boys and girls, Eddy," Ed said. Eddy had nailed the door shut.

"Santa's sack's mine!" Eddy said, grabbing the bag, "Give it!" Ed kept hold on the bag.

"Santa's, Eddy!" Ed said. Bella helped him try to get the bag.

"Se si ottiene farmi lecenziare, io ti odio per sempre!" Bella yelled.

"Gentlemen, lady, please," Edd said before he got hit with the bag. Felice hid in the corner.

"Santa's sack!" Ed cried.

"Mine!" Eddy said. Edd was now on top of the bag.

"E' Babbo Natale!" Bella said.

"Goodwill?" Edd said, "Peace on Earth?"

"It's Santa's!" Ed said.

"MINE!" Eddy yelled.

"Santa's, Eddy!" Ed repeated. Suddenly, the bag got thrown out of the roof, Edd getting caught on a piece of broken wood.

"Oh dear," Edd said.

"Of all the no-good-" Kevin was saying.

"It's ok, Jimmy," Sarah said to her crying friend.

"Here today, gone tomorrow, yes?" Rolf said before the bag landed in front of them. The kids cheered loudly.

"Where'd the sack go?" Eddy asked, "You idiot!" He threw Ed to the side, "My presents!" He rushed to the door but just as he reached it the door burst open, knocking him back into the feeding trough. Snowy wind blew in.

"Can it be?" Edd asked, seeing the figures at the door, "Three kings who have traveled afar?"

"And Befana," Bella added quietly, "In Italy, there's a story of a woman who wanted to go with the three wisemen, but she didn't. After a few days, however, she decided she did want to go after all and traveled to find them. She got lost, and every Christmas she wanders looking for the three wisemen."

"A babe in a manger, huh?" Lee asked as she and her siblings entered, "We come bearing gifts!"

"See? Mold," May held out the bread.

"I brought franks and cents," Marie said, holding out her gift.

"And fur," Lee said, holding out the coat.

"Well, this image certainly has the Christmas spirit," Edd said.

"Now it's time for our gifts!" May said.

"Payback! Christmas kisses all around!" Marie said.

"And we ain't talkin' on the cheeks, either," Brandon added. The Kankers laughed and Bella and the Eds screamed.

"RUN AWAY!" The cried, but the Kankers grabbed them before they could.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" Edd cried, "I'm an angel, stop!" Eddy ran out of the shed but Lee grabbed him and pulled him back.

"I'm too young!" He cried as Lee put a sign on the door that read 'Don't Open Till Next X-Mas' before she closed the door. On the hill nearby, the kids were singing, Rolf having difficulty understanding as he looked at the music.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a happy new year!

Good tidings we bring

To you and your kings

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a happy new year!"


	4. The Eds Are Coming!

White fluffy clouds floated above a cornfield in Jimmy's dream.

"Good day world!" The boy cried happily, skipping through the corn in his pajamas, "La la la la la la la…" As Jimmy was singing, his stuffed teddy bear Mr. Yum Yum skipped up and held his hand. Jimmy smiled as another stuffed animal, this one a rabbit, skipped up and took his other hand. Jimmy giggled. A butterfly flew by and lifted Jimmy's hat off, revealing his messy hair, "Who's there?" No problem, as two birds fly overhead with a brush and comb and fix his hair.

"I'm so awesome!" Jimmy said. The group skipped up to a railroad with a toy caterpillar instead of a train. Jimmy climbed up a set of stairs and hopped on the caterpillar. He rode off as a train whistle sounded, waving goodbye to his friends. He rode by the sun.

"Good day, Jimmy!" It said.

"Good day, Mr. Sun!" Jimmy waved as he rode by through a field of lollypops, "Goody goody goody!" Jimmy snatched up a lollypop and licked it, smiling. He rode by Nazz, Rolf, Bella, and Kevin sitting on a piece of pie surrounded by cake and ice cream. Nazz and Bella were each wearing pretty dresses, Kevin didn't have a shirt, and Rolf had on...something.

"Salutations, fellow children of the cul-de-sac!" Jimmy greeted.

"Buongiorno, Jimmy!" Bella waved. Felice popped out of the pie and waved with her paw.

"Felicitations to you too, dear Jimmy!" Kevin called.

"Your cowlick looks so divine today, Jimmy!" Nazz complemented.

"Rolf has much admiration for he who can lick a cow!" Rolf said strangely.

"A compliment, I'm sure," Jimmy said, "Sorry to say, I'm on my way!" He waved goodbye, "Toodle-oo!"

"I like rhymes!" Bella giggled.

"Ta-ta!" Nazz waved with the others.

"Cheerio!" Kevin called.

"Later alligator!" Rolf said.

Jimmy stopped at a place made of cake called 'Last Stop.' He gets off the caterpillar. He pats its head.

"Nice riding you, Mr. Caterpillar," Jimmy said. He walked over to a doll that was spanking all three Eds, "Hi-de-hi, cul-de-sac castaways! I see Dolly No-No-" The doll spanked the Eds, "Is keeping you from wreaking havoc on this fine day!" The arm hit them again.

"Havoc?" Eddy said, "Like the fish!"

"That's haddock, Eddy," Edd said as the arm hit them.

"My bottom's got a haddock!" Ed said happily as the arm hit them again.

"You three are so kooky!" Jimmy said. He snapped his fingers and butterfly wings bloomed from his back and he flew off.

"Darn it, I love his cowlick," Eddy said.

Jimmy flew through a field of sweets and rainbows to the cul-de-sac. He landed.

"There she is!" Jimmy said, pointing at Sarah, who was coming towards him. Each step made flowers blossom from where she stood, "My amber-haired angel. My pummeling protector!" Sarah and Jimmy skipped towards each other, hearts floating around their heads. Before they reached each other, however, a huge metal saw dropped from the sky, slicing through the ground, making Jimmy's wings fall off. The sky turned dark and gloomy as another dropped. A hurricane began as the saws began circling the cul-de-sac, cutting it away from the rest of the world. Jimmy was on the other side, while Sarah was still in the cul-de-sac.

"HELP, JIMMY!" Sarah screamed, running over to the edge. A huge ravine was where the giant saw had been. Jimmy ran over and tried to jump across but just missed, grabbing onto a root sticking out of the dirt.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Jimmy yelled, "AAHH!"

"Jimmy!" Sarah cried, looking over the edge at Jimmy, who was clinging to the root.

"Sarah?" Jimmy said, then pointed behind her, "ROBOT WIGGLY! ROBOT WIGGLY!" Sarah looked around as a spiked robot tentacle went to wrap around her head, but she dodged just in time. It was connected to two more, which curved into a claw shape around her.

"Help me, Jimmy!" Sarah shouted. The wiggly tentacles turned into hard metal claws which pierced the ground. Two more sets on other sides of the cul-de-sac did the same, and they began to lift the cul-de-sac up. Jimmy could barely hold on.

"AHH, SARAH, SARAH, AHH!" Jimmy screamed. Sarah rushed over and held her hand out.

"Take my hand, Jimmy!" She yelled.

"I'm trying, Sarah!" Jimmy yelled, "I can't reach you!" Jimmy's fingers were slipping one by one from the root and he fell.

"JIIIIIIMMMMMMYYYYY!" Sarah yelled.

"SAAAARRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…"

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Jimmy woke up screaming in his bed and sweating. He got up and looked out the window. It was a peaceful winter day outside. Sarah was leaning against Jimmy's door frame, dressed in her winter clothes.

"Boy, I thought you'd never wake up," She said. Jimmy ran forward and hugged her.

"Oh Sarah!" Jimmy cried, "What a horrible dream! These horrible mechanical pincers fell from the sky, all wiggly like, and snatched you away!" Sarah smiled knowingly. She pushed Jimmy off of her and sat him on his bed.

"How many Belly Bomb Bon-Bons did you eat before bed, mister?" She asked, "You know they give you nightmares."

"Maybe one," Jimmy said, "Or two."

One or two boxes, maybe, as Sarah pulled out an empty box from under his bed. She showed him.

"Uh, ok, guilty as charged," Jimmy said, "I'm a piggy." The two started laughing loudly. After Jimmy got dressed, they walked downstairs. Jimmy was skipping just like in his dream and going, "La la la la la la la." He hummed happily as he pulled on his winter clothes. Sarah opened the door and headed outside.

"Oh look," Jimmy said, spotting something in the mail on the floor, "A postcard. I love post-" He turned it over to see a field just like the one in his dream.

* * *

It flashed between black and white and color. The saws dropped from the sky.

The claws gripped the ground around Sarah.

She reached over the side.

"Take my hand!"

Jimmy was falling.

"JIIIIIIMMMMMMYYYYY!"

* * *

Jimmy shook as he stood in the doorway. Sarah looked at him, bored.

"Jimmy?" She said. The card slipped out of Jimmy's hands, falling to the ground. She pulled him outside, "Boy, you sure are acting weird today." Jimmy slipped on a frozen puddle.

"Owie, Sarah!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jonny was shifting through a garbage can. Plank was on a box next to it with a tin can on his head. Jonny popped out with a tire full of old junk.

"Right on!" Jonny said, "Wait till everybody sees our happening harvest hats at the Sadie Hawkins dance!" He put the tire on his head, "What do we need now, buddy?" He listened to Plank and then looked confused, "What the heck's a rutabaga? I bet you Rolf has one of those things!" He ran over to Rolf's house and was at the back fence, "He's kinda nutty that way." He was about to climb over the fence when a green light shone from Rolf's house. He fell over the fence and stood up with Plank in his hand.

"Hey Rolf!" Jonny said, "Whatcha doing?" Jonny started walking towards the house. The light shone even brighter.

* * *

Sarah fell backwards in the snow.

"Come on, Jimmy," She said, "Snow angels are fun!" She started making a snow angel. Some ice fell on her face as Jimmy, looking mesmerized, was carving out a giant ice claw like from his dream.

"Robot claws," He said, "From the sky. They're coming. To take us away." Sarah snatched the mallet and nail from Jimmy.

"Get over it, will ya?" She said, "It was just a dream."

"I can't control myself, Sarah!" Jimmy sobbed onto her shoulder, "It seems so real! As though it actually happened!"

"Well that's just plain stupid, silly," Sarah said.

"I feel so icky, Sarah!" Jimmy said. The two walked away.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Edd's house, Edd was tutoring Eddy. Edd was apparently teaching math while Eddy sat at a desk, bored.

"-wire a susceptible brain," Edd was saying, "Therefore an integer of four added into the equation, yields a much more readily decipherable hot potato. Knowing Q is a constant, we can deduce that P is equal to seventy-two. Any questions, Eddy?" Edd turned back to see Eddy's empty chair, which had a set of mechanical teeth with a pencil attached, going across the table, "Eddy?"

Eddy was at the window, watching Jonny freak out outside.

"Check it out, sockhead," Eddy said. Edd walked over, "Inflatohead's busting an artery!" Eddy laughed, "What an idiot!"

"You gotta believe me, guys!" Jonny said, his face head, "We're all dead ducks! DEAD DUCKS I TELL YA!"

"Dude, harsh sunburn," Nazz said, looking at Jonny's face. She pulled out some lotion, "You need some aloe vera."

Edd and Eddy were now outside, as well as Bella, who had a book tucked under her arm. Felice was following her.

"HEY!" She yelled, "How am I supposed to get any reading done with all this noise out here?!"

"Pardon me," Edd spoke up, "If it's not too much to ask, could you please keep your voices down? Eddy's tutoring requires-"

Jonny interrupted him.

"You'll believe me!" He said, grabbing Edd around the waist, "There's flesh eating aliens invading Rolf's house, Double D! He said so! He did!"

"Well this is gonna be good," Eddy said, pulling out two lawn chairs and a thermos. He sat down in one lawn chair and offered the other to Bella, who sat down.

"Flesh eating aliens, huh?" Kevin said, "Shyeah, right! And I got a Russian plate twirling team camping out in my backyard."

He, Sarah, and Nazz laughed. Jonny looked at Plank.

"They don't believe us, buddy!" Jonny cried, shaking Edd, "They don't believe us!"

"I believe you, Jonny!" Jimmy said, walking forward. Nazz giggled and Kevin and Eddy snickered. Eddy poured out hot chocolate from the thermos. Sarah laughed along nervously and dragged Jimmy back over.

"Oh Jimmy, you're such a kidder!" She laughed, then whispered in Jimmy's ear, "What the heck's wrong with you? Get real, Jimmy."

"I have never been more real in all my life, Sarah!" Jimmy said, escaping her grasp and walking back over to Jonny, "My dream has come true! Giant blades will fall, slicing through the Earth like a deep dish flan!" He jumped in the air, "IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!"

Bella was quickly writing in a pad of paper.

"This is making for an awesome story!" She said, looking up. She was writing down everything the kids were saying and doing, for ideas. Jimmy fell and sighed, landing back in Sarah's arms.

"Sweet!" Eddy laughed at the scene.

"Tense," Nazz said, looking at Jimmy.

"Gimmie a break," Kevin said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh come on," Eddy said to Bella, "You can't go get me some marshmallows?"

"I'm not missing a second of this!" She said, jotting it down, "Inspiration is off the charts here, man!"

"WHERE'S MY STUPID BROTHER?!" Sarah yelled, causing Eddy to dump the cup of hot chocolate on himself.

"Oh, good idea," Bella said, tucking her pencils behind her cat ear, somehow, "This stuff is right up his alley. Not to mention every story needs the lovable idiot."

"He did leave this note on his bedroom door this morning," Edd said, pulling out a roll of toilet paper with one or two squares.

"Let me see!" Sarah said, snatching it from him. She read it aloud, "'At Rolf's, Needs Help…'"

Bella was looking over her shoulder and writing down what the note said.

"Dude, aliens or not, something's seriously up," Nazz said, walking forward.

"Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportions just a little?" Edd asked, "Ed's no doubt assisting Rolf with some farmyard duties. It wouldn't be the first time."

"OR MAYBE-" Jonny began, jumping it Edd's face, "HE'S HELPING ROLF FIGHT OFF THOSE ALIENS AS WE SPEAK!"

"Yo, put an end to it and just go check his house out already," Kevin said. Everyone turned to look at him. They grabbed him and rushed towards Rolf's house.

"Seguire, Felice," Bella said, "We have some exploring to do."

* * *

"'The group arrived at [his] house, which was barren of snow in a perfect circle around it," Bella said as she wrote, "Strange. Puddles lay here and there across the wet grass.'"

"Well, it hardly appears to be the stronghold of some alien encroachment now, does it?" Edd asked, walking forward into the area cleared of snow.

"'The doubter walked forward, about to realize how wrong he was'," Bella said, scribbling quickly. Edd started sweating under his warm coat.

"Goodness, is it me, or is it suddenly becoming unbearable warm?" Edd asked, unzipping his coat.

"'...hotter than the stove'," Bella wrote.

"Man, I'm frying like an egg over here!" Eddy said, pulling off his shirt and coat. Bella looked up and blushed slightly before quickly writing more. She flipped over to the next blank page. Edd walked over to the edge.

"Strange," He said, "How could the land temperature change so drastically from one area to the next?"

He watched as the mailbox burst open, steaming.

"See? I told ya!" Jonny said. They all looked at the house-

"'-as a strange noise began to come from it'," Bella said. Suddenly, a giant green ball of something BURST out of the chimney- "'Making its way towards the park!'"

It exploded as it hit the ground.

"Holy mac-" Before Sarah could finish, the dust and force pushed them back, making them all cling to the lamp pole, and in Eddy's case, smack head-first into it. Kevin was the only one standing, and Edd was against the mailbox, looking through binoculars at the object.

"The playground!" Edd said, getting down and pulling out his coat.

"Follow me!" Kevin said, running towards the park. Edd did so, as did Bella and Felice.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Bella said, "I'm gonna be famous with this!"

* * *

At the park…

"'The kids slowly approached the unidentified flying object, which had lodged itself deep into the Earth's crust," Bella narrated, "It glowed eerily green, green steam billowing from the many holes. It looked like-'"

"A meteor?" Bella suggested as herself, looking up, "Or a big wheel of cheese."

"What in Heaven's name is that?" Edd asked, holding his nose.

"Whatever is it, it reeks," Kevin said.

"Yeah, like…" Bella thought and her eyes widened, "57 day old cheese…"

Felice meowed, covered her nose with her paws.

"I dunno, it COULD be Sheldon's dad," Bella joked. Suddenly, a hand came out of the meteor/wheel of cheese- "Covered in a icky green goo!"

Nazz screamed loudly and ran around, causing the others to do so, too. Only Kevin stayed at the crater, looking down at the meteor and whatever had just come out of it. It had been split in half, and was no longer pulsing and glowing.

"It hatched, man!" Kevin yelled, running off and hiding like the others.

"Wait, but I need a description of what it looks like, now!" Bella said, looking out from behind the tire swing bars. Eddy pulled her back in as Edd oiled the squeaking tire chain. The three of them looked out. Felice as at Bella's feet. Eddy looked at the exit.

"Let's make a break for it," Eddy said quietly. Eddy, Bella, and Edd ran for the gate, Eddy holding Edd up in front of them and Felice staying close behind. They passed by the crater, and Bella couldn't help but look. Suddenly, they crashed into a being, dripping in the goo from the meteor. The three of them screamed and backed up. Eddy peered closely at the figure.

"Ed?" He said.

"What?!" Bella cried, jumping out from behind Edd and starting to write, "Oh mio Dio, epic plot twist!"

Ed was shivering in the cold. He was only in his underwear and had red marks on his cheeks.

"Squeezed, cheeks pinched," Ed muttered, "Ribs prodded. Grizzly faced beings that smell like moth balls!"

He fell back, shaking the last of the goo off of him.

"I am so pooped," He said. The others looked at him from above.

"The aliens experimented on Ed!" Jonny cried. Ed pulled himself up using Jonny's head.

"Protect yourself, large noggined one!" Ed warned. He jumped on Jonny's head and started squishing it with his feet, "As they will use you as an ottoman for their scaly feet!"

"NO!" Jonny cried, throwing Ed off, "Not the ottoman!"

"That's it!" Kevin said, pulling a soap box out of nowhere and standing on it.

"'He said, standing up on the nearby soap box'," Bella wrote.

"We're storming that house!" Kevin said, pointing at Rolf's house.

"Hold the phone!" Eddy said angrily, stomping forward, "Who made you commander in chump, boxhead?"

"Oh, I guess you want to go in the house first, huh, dorky?" Kevin asked. Eddy looked past him at the house-

"'-still oozing green goo and steam from the chimney'," Bella said. Eddy looked at it fearfully and backed up.

"Kev, the leader," Eddy said nervously, "Great idea."

Eddy hid behind Edd.

"I'll research Ed's tawdry extraterrestrial material," Edd volunteered, "There may be vital clues on how to deal with the alien insurgency."

"Ok, but when you get back, tell me everything that happened!" Bella called, "Leave out no detail!"

Kevin flicked a toothpick into his mouth and looked at the kids. He motioned for them to come along. They followed like a flock of sheep to his house.

* * *

Meanwhile, Edd was looking through Ed's comic book collection, writing down notes.

"Square Dancers From The Outer Reaches," Edd read a title, "Colorful." He grabbed another, "Attack Of The Space Nose Miners? Deviating." He grabbed a third one, "Inappropriate Pinchers From Beyond?" Bingo. He started looking through it, "Heat vision? Restrictuesprobians are known to produce elevated temperatures of heat!"

He wrote heat vision on his own note pad and circled it. He drew lines to the other three circles.

"Coincidence?" He asked himself, when suddenly he heard a strange noise. He looked around in fear, "Hello?"

The noises escalated and he begun to panic. He pulled on his coat and snatched up the comics, crawling out the window as fast as he could, and ended up tearing it on the edge.

"Oh for goodness sake," He said, just as a loud roar was heard from Ed's room. Edd jumped up and ran off to his house.

* * *

After going to his house, he went to Kevin's house, dragging a cooler behind him. Inside, he could hear Ed talking.

"And then the squishy aliens grabbed me, pulling me towards the pot of stew I knew would be my doom!" Ed said, "But I was too fast and escaped through the chimney! They clawed at me, trying to stop me, but no use!"

Edd knocked on the door and the chatter ceased. Ed looked out the little window in the door.

"Password?" Ed asked.

"Password?" Edd repeated, confused, "I wasn't informed of any password." Ed closed the little window, "Hello?"

Suddenly, Ed burst through the door, knocking Edd to the ground.

"I see through your disguises, creature from beyond the stars!" Ed said, starting to pull at Edd's face. Bella looked through the door, her note pad and pencil in her hand.

"Ed!" Edd cried, his voice muffled slightly, "It's me! Double-" Ed pulled on his mouth, "Deeee!"

Ed paused and looked at Edd. Good enough for him. He scooped Edd up in a hug.

"Double D!" Ed said happily, "You're alive!"

He brought Edd inside and shut the door, putting a wooden board in front of it, but ending up getting his hands stuck. He tried to pulled them free as Edd hung his coat up.

"Doppio D, you have to tell me everything!" Bella said quickly, walking up excitedly. She looked at his notes, "What'd you find out, how, in what order; I need details!"

"In a moment, Bella," He said, taking his notes back. Kevin was explaining the plan of attack. Bella sulked and looked at Kevin.

"-while the alpha team circles the perimeter, here," He was saying, "And hooks up with the omega team, here. That's when we take 'em." He turned around to look at the others, who were all sitting in their own chairs, "Any questions?"

"Yawn!" Eddy said loudly. Jimmy, who was sitting on a wooden box, raising his hand.

"Jimmy," Kevin called on him. Jimmy lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Kevin.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Jimmy repeated, and started kissing Kevin's feet like a groveling fan. Kevin looked at him.

"Right," He said, "Start building your weapons." He walked over to Edd, "Double D, what'd you find out, man?"

"My information gathering points to the aliens dispersing heat through, um," Edd handed his notes to Kevin, "Their vision."

Ed looked over, finally freeing his hand from the wooden board.

"Heat vision, huh?" Kevin said, looking at Ed. Edd walked over to the cooler he had brought with him.

"With that," He began, opening the cooler, "I took the liberty of developing a sub-zero battle suit, which should effectively protect us from their detonation of heat."

He pulled out a suit made of items commonly found in the freezer and put it on Ed.

"Nice," Kevin said.

"Great idea, Doppio D!" Bella smiled.

"Jimmy, curlers don't count as weapons!" Kevin said, walking over to Jimmy. Eddy walked over with a hose and handed it to Ed.

"Hold this," He said, walking off. Suddenly, the hose started sucking Ed in, like a vacuum. Both Felice and Bella hissed.

"Do it again!" Ed laughed.

"See?!" Bella said the Edd, "I told you vacuums were dangerous! And you didn't believe me!"

Eddy smiled excitedly as he looked at Ed in a glass container attached to the hose.

"Eddy, I'm a tad suspect that this will provide you adequate defense."

"Defense, shmefence!" Eddy said, "I'm gonna be swimming in moolah! Once I bag me one of those aliens, I'll be famous!"

The glass container was also connected to a backpack, which Eddy put on.

"So am I, once I get his published!" Bella said, smiling widely, "Rich AND famous!"

"Well, just let Ed out when you're done, then," Edd said, walking off.

"Pull my finger, Eddy," Ed said as he farted.

Kevin was putting together his weapon. He looked at Jonny.

"Ready?" Kevin asked. Jonny pulled out ketchup and mustard bottles and squirted them at the wall, then on his tongue.

"Ready!" He said, "Right, buddy?"

"Ready," Nazz said, brushing her hair in front of a hand mirror, "Almost."

"Don't look at the writer, don't look at the writer," Ed said.

"Ready," Jimmy said, shaking and holding a tennis racket in front of him.

"This stink juice will burn their nostrils off!" Sarah said, holding a bottle of perfume.

"But Sarah, you said you loved my homemade dandelion perfume!" Jimmy said, offended. Sarah nervously held it behind her back.

"But the aliens might not," Bella stepped in, "They might think dandelions smell as hideous as old stinky cheese. Besides, perfume in your eyes stings like heck, am I right?"

"Well, I guess so," Jimmy said slowly.

"It is here, dear friends," Edd began in the front of the room, "On the threshold of fate, where we stare into the gaping mouth of uncertainty. In this, our darkest hour, I wish to express my-"

Kevin cut him off.

"Alright," He said, shoving him aside.

"That was amazing, Doppio D," Bella said, helping him up, "Ever think of taking up a career in writing?"

"Listen up!" Kevin announced, "These space dweebs made a big mistake, invading our neighborhood, and taking our pal! What say we give 'em a good ol' Peach Creek welcome?"

The kids cheered loudly.

"Let's DO THIS!" Kevin said, kicking the door open, "We're coming for ya, Rolfy-boy!"

* * *

"'They arrived at the house in question, the smoke billowing out seeming to have multiplied in their absence'," Bella narrated.

Kevin hid behind the car parked out front. The other kids hurried to find a hiding spot as Kevin moved to the bush. Jonny slipped on an ice puddle and Jimmy jumped into the mailbox. Sarah was hiding behind the light pole. Bella and the Eds hid behind the car when someone whistled. Edd looked out and over at Kevin, who making hand signals, though no one knew what they meant. Sarah sneaked forward and uncapped the dandelion perfume. She opened the window and threw it inside.

"Take a whiff of this, you bad aliens!" Sarah yelled. She ran back, "I did it, Jimmy!"

Suddenly, the bottle flew back out, landing on Sarah's head and covering her eyes and nose. She cried out in pain and fell down.

"They got me!" She shouted. Everyone looked shocked.

"Ed is coming, baby sister!" Ed yelled, running out from behind the car. Edd, Eddy, and Bella followed. Felice stayed under the car.

"Ed, wait!" Eddy cried, grabbing his friends and pulling them back. He threw them on the ground, "Are you nuts?! Those aliens will suck your brain out!"

"What brain?" Bella mumbled, rubbing her head.

Eddy looked out from behind the car and at Jimmy in the mailbox. He pulled the mailbox back and let go, flinging Jimmy out into the yard on top of Sarah. He pulled her back, dazed. Kevin whistled again and pointed at Jonny. Jonny climbed up on the roof and set Plank against the chimney.

"Watch my back, Plank," Jonny said. Condiments at the ready, he jumped head first into the chimney, his big head getting caught, "Let's dance, aliens!"

He kept squirting the ketchup and mustard, but it only ended up on poor Plank. Since the steam had nowhere to go, it built up in the chimney until it exploded, puffing into Jonny's mouth and in turn out his ears. Jonny deflated and Eddy watched, laughing quietly.

"It isn't funny, Eddy," Edd said.

"Is kinda funny," Bella giggled, writing down what had happened.

"Look alive," Kevin said quietly, running over and handing his weapon to Edd, "Cover me."

He ran forward with what looked like a bowling ball shooter. He pulled Ed along, who had a trashcan full of bowling balls with him.

"You, come with me," Kevin said. Eddy slowly opened the car door and slinked inside. Bella followed and closed the door, "Eat this, outer space freaks. Feed me some ammo, dorko!"

Ed was about two or three feet behind, shaking in fear and covering his eyes.

"Move it!" Kevin snapped. Ed panicked and held the trash can up.

"GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, ALIENS FROM THE UNKNOWN!" Ed shouted, throwing all the bowling balls forward. Unfortunately, they all rolled to the sides of the house and passed it, "GUTTERBALL!"

Kevin growled and Edd walked up to Ed.

"I hope you know you're going to pick those up," Edd said.

"You guys are useless!" Kevin shouted angrily. Everyone looked at him. He started walking off, "Everybody's on their own, I've had it."

Jimmy threw himself at Kevin's feet.

"My dream!" Jimmy cried, "We'll be sucked up into the sky!"

"Chill out, Kevin!" Nazz said, running up.

"Yeah!" Sarah agreed, joining them, "We gotta get Rolf out of that house!"

"Issue fourteen, Zombie Aliens From Planet Rhubark, states 'more than often it is required to bait said aliens with a human female to lure potential flesh consuming extraterrestrials from their lair'," Ed said. Edd began looking through his notes.

"That's so dumb," Nazz said as everyone looked at her. She looked slightly shocked.

* * *

"'The kids had dressed her up in a beautiful pink dress, a large white bow tied on her head'," Bella narrated as she wrote, "'Tied to two poles, she struggled to escape, but it was no use.'" Bella looked up at Nazz, "Oh, why her? One of my migliori amici…"

"Dearest Nazz," Edd said as he walked up to her, "Find it in your heart to forgive me. Maybe it's best to think of it as a selfless act to save-"

Nazz smacked him, knocking him back to the bush. The street light flickered out as a green light shone from the windows. Nazz tried harder to escape, but the ropes held tight. Eddy and Bella were watching fearfully from the car. Ed rose up next to them. Suddenly, the green lights shut off. A squid-looking creature peered from behind the curtains before opening the door. The green light shone again, revealing a floating squid with large eyes, dripping in ooze. Kevin prepared to shoot. He looked at the window. More squids.

"Woah," He said.

"There's so many of them," Eddy said fearfully before holding up his vacuum device with money signs in his eyes, "I'm gonna be super rich!"

In the back seat, Ed buckled up in a baby seat.

"Wait, what?!" Bella cried.

"PLEASE, DON'T EAT ME!" Nazz cried. The kids started screaming. Eddy jumped out of the car.

"Seven figure bracket, here I come!" He yelled happily.

"EDDY, WAIT!" Bella screamed, falling face first out of the car. She pushed herself off the ground, "DON'T!"

The light inside the house turned on, revealing Rolf with a squid on his head.

"Hello, fellow neighborhood nothings!" Rolf greeted happily.

"Rolf?" Nazz spoke. Ed got out of the car.

"Geronimo!" Eddy yelled as he stuck the hose in Rolf's belly button before realizing.

"Oh ho ho!" Rolf said, "You have come to join the celebration."

"Celebration?" Jimmy and Sarah said together, their arms wrapped around each other.

"You ain't an alien from outer space," Eddy said, pulling the hose out and flinging Rolf behind him into the yard. Eddy looked inside. Rolf grabbed Kevin's hat and started fanning himself with it.

"Rolf's skin weeps with tears of impurity, as his relatives turned the furnace up to high," Rolf sighed.

"That's what he said, buddy," Jonny said, walking up with the others, "Relatives."

"Relatives, yes!" Rolf said, slamming the now sweaty hat back on Kevin's head, "Rolf's brood of bottomless bellies from the old country!"

Rolf waved to his family and they waved back.

"It all makes sense now!" Bella said, one arm around Eddy as she flipped through her notepad, "Why didn't I see it before?! I think the green goo threw me off."

"Of course!" Edd said, agreeing, "It does make sense now. Rolf was literally being invaded by aliens. It's just his family visiting from his native land."

"They are so other-worldly!" Ed cried fearfully.

"Great Aunt Barga and Uncle Yorick thank you for letting them use your clothes as emergency bibs, low-on-the-totem-pole

Ed boy," Rolf pulled out Ed's clothes and shook them free of the green goo.

"Come, fickle friends of the cul-de-sac!" Rolf said, plopping the squid back on his head, "Join Rolf's family in the festivities!"

"Well, this does seem like a nice ending," Bella said, smiling and ending her sentence, putting her pencil and paper pad in her pocket. They all went inside to see a projector emitting green light as it flashed pictures. Kevin quickly rushing out the door.

"Ah ha!" Everyone looked at Rolf, who was mixing a pot of something, "Rolf suspects little Cousin Bastian wants a kiss under the membrane of a yak, she-who-gives-migraines."

Sarah screamed and ran off with Jimmy. Jonny hurried after her and Eddy tried to, but Rolf grabbed him and pulled him back inside, upside down.

"Ed boy, you must stay!" Rolf said, "Nana sees the footrest potential in your flat-as-a-pancake head!" He took Bella's wrist, "And Nano would not believe Rolf when Rolf said he had a friend part feline."

"No, let me go!" Eddy cried, clawing at the floor, "I don't wanna be an ottoman!"

"Rolf, you know I don't like talking about it!" Bella said, her face red as she tried to escape Rolf's grip, "And you know how insecure I am about it!"

Ed watched in fear as Edd hung up his coat and put his shoes neatly in the closet.

"Isn't it exciting, Ed?" Edd asked, "We finally have a chance to meet Rolf's enigmatic family. Oh, the questions about their culture and strange affinity to animal by-products are endless!" He started walking into the family room, "Shall we?"

Ed snatched him back.

"No more cheek pinching for Ed, Double D!" Ed cried, running out past Nazz.

"Hello?" She said, "A little help here? Guys!"

No one noticed, but the cul-de-sac was being lifted up into the sky and deep into space by an unidentified flying object. As the page ended, only two words appeared.

The End?


End file.
